Drumroll please

No Fear

Remember this horrible fashion trend from back in the 90's? It's my new motto. Actually, I've had a lot of people ask me lately if I'm scared or nervous about the upcoming labor and delivery experience. Oddly enough, my response is "not really." This is not because I'm super confident in my motherly strengths and abilities, but simply because I have this personality flaw that causes me to focus so intently on the facts and details of an event that I tend to neglect the overall emotional experience. This is probably why I didn't get nervous on my wedding day, why I hardly remember either of my graduation ceremonies, or why I was more concerned with the actual departure schedule and flight pattern of my trip to England instead of thinking about the next 3 months living there. Like the other major events in my short lifetime, Jack's birth isn't much different. At this point all the logistical aspects of preparing for the big day have completely crowded out any thoughts of fear or panic. Maybe I'll start to get scared when the contractions hit, but until then, these are the "major" things I'm worried about:

Stretch Marks - I'm happy to report that I don't have any ... yet. I've been assuming all along that they would inevitably show up at some point, but now that I'm 39 weeks, and almost at the end of this pregnancy, it would drive me crazy if I got them now. Several people I know told me their's didn't show up until the final two weeks, so I'm holding my breath and lathering on twice as much cocoa butter, despite the mixed reviews on its effectiveness, just in case it really does work.

Water Breaking - Now I know that it's not common to have your water break before starting labor, nor is it normal to have your water break in a huge gush like the movies, but I still can't help but worry that maybe, just maybe, I'm going to be one of those in that rare minority who's water breaks with a gush in public. Please, no. That's all I'm going to say.

Timing - I'm not afraid that this baby is going to come too fast, or that I won't make it to the hospital on time. Quite the opposite really. I'm worried that I'm going to labor at home for as long as possible, leave for the hospital when the contractions get strong and fast, only to get there and be told that I'm only 2 cm and nowhere near ready to be admitted. If only labor was an exact science!

No room in the inn - When we took a tour of the labor and delivery suite at the hospital, it was like a ghost town. There were a few nurses hanging at the front desk, and one lone baby crying in the background, and absolutely none of the excitement and energy I was expecting. But I'm sure many of us have also heard that women tend to go into labor all at the same time. When my friend Tricia had her baby in this same hospital back in May, she said it was so full that some women were forced to labor out in the waiting area until a delivery room opened up. I'm fully-intending to make good use of those walk-in showers we saw on the tour, so I'd really like to have a rooom when I get to the hospital.

The Doctor - I haven't met any of the doctors at the Navy hospital. I go to all my appointments at a clinic on a different base, and have only met with nurses and midwives. I have this image in my head of the ideal obstetrician - a grandfatherly-like fellow with a soft voice and years of experience. But if you've ever seen an episode of "Special Delivery" on Discovery Health that took place at a military hospital, you may have noticed that there are never any characters that resemble my favored image. So my big fear here is that the guy standing at the foot of my bed is going to be some Andy Baldwin type character that looks like he played football with my husband. It may have been these thoughts that led to my dream several months back about the Albert Einstein look-alike with GANGSTA ring ...

Birth announcement - Okay, this may seem silly but I really don't want to keep people in suspense any longer than they need to. My goal here is to have everyone in our circle of friends fully aware of the birth of Jack within a few hours. I've pretty much got my phone call and email lists all worked out, but you know how technology is. When it really comes down to it, I'm gonna have to pass the buck on this item. Let's hope hubby is able pull this one off without any major technical glitches so that all of our wonderful friends can get the facts, from the source, as soon as possible!

Sleep - I have always been an early to bed and typically early to rise kind of person. I get tired at night and I like my 8 hours of rest. I can recall only pulling one all-nighter in my life, and it was when flying to England. (We left late afternoon US time and arrived early morning England time and jet lag didn't hit until the next day.) I also don't take naps. It takes me a long time to fall asleep because I tend to use those final moments of the day to sort through my thoughts and plan out the next day. When I take naps I always get stuck in that in-between stage and never feel like I get any sleep. I've taken one nap this whole pregnancy and woke up feeling worse than before. And so, all that to say, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle having a newborn those first few weeks. Obviously I'm going to learn how to stay up at night and take naps during the day - FAST.

So now you have an idea of what's really going through my mind these final days of pregnancy. When it really comes down to it, these small details are really not that important, especially since so much of pregnancy, labor and delivery are out of our hands. Thankfully, Jack, Jon and I have had a supernatural God watching over us from the very beginning. While a pain-free, easy delivery would be nice, I'm pretty sure that no matter how things turn out, it won't be more than any of us can handle. There is definitely a sense of peace and security that comes with knowing that you're not the one in control. And since we've been pretty pleased with the way He's handled this pregnancy so far, I think we're going to go ahead and let God manage the rest of the details. I'll just write the story when it's all over.

Mama gets a second wind

I've been maintaining a to-do and to-buy before the baby comes list for several months now, but always seemed to be lacking the motivation to really get cracking. I started to get a little discouraged when I realized, despite all my new-found free time, how much more I still had to accomplish. I guess I've been waiting for the nesting phase to kick in. I'm not sure if it has yet or not, but at nearly 39 weeks I think it's finally hit me that I might not have a chance tomorrow to do what needs to get done today. Fortunately, my mental second wind got into gear right about the same time that my physical one did. And I think it rubbed off on hubby too. This past weekend we cleaned up all the flower beds, purchased the mums I've been waiting for, cleaned both cars inside and out, cleaned the house, cooked a few meals to freeze for homecoming week, and bought the last few items needed before Jack arrives. I also got my hair cut, my teeth cleaned, finished two more books, finalized the birth plan, created a feeding chart, wrapped up all my maternity leave details at work, and got the email birth announcement all ready for Jon to send out soon after the birth. Even so, I still need to finish packing my bag, make up a few iPod playlists for the hospital, and find a pediatrician. I'm sure I'll come up with a few more things for the to-do list this week, but that's okay. At this point, I'm open to anything to keep me busy during this final stretch.

I've got a new way to walk

With the onset of cooler weather I've been trying to kick the physical activity up a knotch. Since my bulging abdomen has reduced my options in this area, I really have nothing else to do but walk. This past week, while touring the neighborhood or combing the beach, I've had one particular song running through my head. I'm going go ahead and throw my older brother under the bus here and post what at one time was one of our favorite Sesame Street Episodes:



Back in my more spryly days, I could book-it to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel and back without breaking a sweat. Then I got pregnant and cut the tour in half. Now that the baby is riding lower and lower, my beach walks have gotten shorter and shorter. Mostly because there are no restrooms on the beach, but also because it only takes about 20 steps before my hips start to shake, rattle and roll. Apparently, this is because of the "relaxin" that is now circulating my system. This is probably why it also hurts to put my shoes on, why it's so hard to get off the couch, or why I've fallen over while trying to put on my pants (don't worry I slid into the side of the bed before landing on the floor, nothing too traumatic). According to who-else-but-BabyCenter, "Even if you're normally graceful, [which I am not] keep in mind that the increased levels of the hormone relaxin during pregnancy, which relax pelvic joints in preparation for childbirth, loosen all ligaments and joints, making you more susceptible to sprains and injury from falls." So my main goal these days, especially whilst walking, is to remain upright and all-together. Ergo, my new way to walk may resemble more of a waddle.

You know you're nearing the end when ...

... you start raiding your husband's closet for maternity clothes.

Do you hear what I hear?

Sometimes I forget that just because we can’t see our little boy, doesn’t mean he’s not around. It still blows my mind to think that he can hear what’s going on around us, and that someday he may recognize some of these familiar voices and sounds. Here are a few of Jack’s favorite sounds:

The ocean – he gets his share of crashing waves during my beach walks. This is usually when he’s least active, I think the combination of walking and waves puts him to sleep. I’m sure he’s looking forward to re-living these pre-birth moments after his arrival when Dad takes him for long walks in the new carrier!

Church – Jack really starts kicking during praise and worship on Sundays. He’s had some lively experiences, especially when visiting our home church back in PA where the sound is extra-loud. I think one of his favorites is “Dance Like David Danced.” It gives him a good excuse to kick Mom extra hard.

Sean Hannity – this is Mom’s fault. Jack gets “Hannitized” every weekday between 3-6pm by default, since it’s his mom’s background noise of choice in the afternoons. Hey, if this baby is going to be born during one of the “worst economic crises since the great depression” we’re going to make sure he gets his facts straight.

Football – more specifically – Penn State. We don’t get all the Penn State games on TV here in Virginia, or at least we didn’t, until Jon informed me one day that he was “willing to make the sacrifice” and invest in digital cable so we can now specially order all the Penn State games we want. This event occurred just in time to watch the PSU v. Illinois game last weekend. I only agreed because I was hoping to catch a glimpse of my little brother in the stands, he was wearing white, maybe you saw him … Anyway, football games are a permanent fall fixture our household, so it’s a good thing Jack is learning to enjoy them now. He can pull moves in-utero that Penn State cheerleaders can only dream of. And when you couple the screaming fans, crashing helmets and blowing trumpets with Mom’s famous chili dip and brownies, Saturdays are truly a day to look forward to.

Unfortunately, despite my pre-pregnancy good intentions, I have not been good about playing music to my baby via headphones, or reading out loud to him, or singing to him. I tried playing piano a few times but I don’t think he was impressed. I have considered sitting-in on Jon’s online “Qur‘anic Law” class. I think we need to start training Jack in Arabic, like yesterday, so that he has some viable career options in the future. The other night, Jon asked if Jack and I were going to visit him in “the office” when he’s busy studying in the evening. Of course, I’ve been planning to send Jack down there all along. He’s going to sit in his little bouncy seat and listen in to Qur’an lessons with the best of ‘em. I, on the other hand, will probably be taking a nap.

Smooth Moves

Now that you have seen our progess on the nursery, you may be wondering what we did with all that other "stuff." Well, Jon's office has moved down to the ground floor guest bedroom. We crammed everything into this quiet, little niche for him where he can study his international politics and homeland security to his heart's content. He even has a sitting area for relaxed studying or meeting with imaginary clients.

My office, on the other hand, is wherever I can get wireless access on my laptop. Lately, it's been my favorite corner of the couch, with my feet propped up on a few pillows and topped off with an ice pack. But when the weather is really nice, and I'm trying to catch some rays, my other favorite location is the front deck.

Now isn't that a convenient place to work, study and tan - all at the same time!

Speaking of offices and jobs, my new position is going much better. We finally completed all the necessary paperwork and signatures so I can officially work from home. I'm still coming to campus a lot right now but having the option to go home whenever has been nice on both me and my ankles! In fact, I have determined that my swollen feet have nothing to do with my sweet, little baby and everything to do with my EVIL desk at work, which I hate being stuck at. I've also realized how dull things are at home during the week. I'm sure there are plenty of things I should be doing, but at this point I'm lacking the necessary motivation. I'm hoping being home all day will be much more enjoyable, and purposeful, once Jack arrives.

Jon's new job is going well too. We both LOVE his new hours! Okay well I love that he's home early every day, I'm not crazy about how he wakes up at 4:30 every morning. Or how he requires two battery-operated alarms to wake up at 4:30 every morning. Or how he sometimes turns off one alarm but forgets to turn off the other alarm which goes off whiles he's in the shower every morning. But other than that it's been great! :) Two weeks ago he was away in DC at a school. Despite spending the majority of our first year of marriage apart for months at a time, I still can't get used to even weeklong separations. I managed to cope by ordering all my favorite chic flicks from Netflix and treating myself to pizza and Pringles most of the week. It looks like he may be traveling a few other times this coming winter/spring, but thanks to my new flexible job, he had better be prepared to take the baby and I along!