November Reads

I just love books. And apparently I'm not the only one in this family that feels that way.  Jack loves reading stories, or should I say loves having me read him stories.  But he's also just starting to read books to Jude now too.  It's adorable.  And I know I'm his mom, but the kid is smart, man.  The other night I was sitting in the kitchen and heard, "Pup ... cup ...  .... no, no, Pop..."  Yeah, he was reading "Hop on Pop" ... and getting the words right!!  Jude's starting to become a bit bookish as well.  He's really beginning to show an interest in picture books.  He's not very good at turning the pages himself, but for some reason he loves to open-hand smack the pictures.

Currently, two of Jack's favorite books are Richard Scarry's Best Word Book Ever (which my husband also loved as a child) and the Sesame Street Word Book.

We received both of these as gifts when Jack was first born, and I gotta admit, I wasn't sure what to think.  I mean, they're not exactly the kind of book you can sit down and "read" with a baby.  But now that I have a 2 year old who loves learning to talk, I can totally see the utility of a word book.  Jack really can't get enough of them.  And they're perfect for "quiet time."  In other words, when Jack gets a little too wild but isn't necessarily being bad, I sit him in the big chair and hand him one of these books to read until he calms down.  Within minutes he's a new child!  I have only two issues with these books: (1) the pages are paper, so you can imagine what kind of condition our books are in with Jack around and (2) they really bring out the "need for affirmation" in our child.  This is usually how we read:  "Traaaaiiin, traaiiinnn."  "Yes, Jack, that's a train, good job."  "Boooatt, boooaaat." ... (no response)  "Boooaaat..."  "Mama, MAMA!! ... Booaaaat."  "Yes Jack, that is a boat."  "Dog, trackor ... MAAAAMMMMAA!!!"  *sigh* "Yes, Jack that is a tractor.  Now you don't need Mommy to repeat everything you say."  Needless to say, it doesn't exactly create a library-like atmosphere.

But enough about the kiddos, let's get on to the grown-up literature.  My G'Ma got Her Daughter's Dream lat month, the sequel to Her Mother's Heart so I jumped on that during our visit to Pennsylvania several weeks ago.  I was in a hurry to finish it and pass it on to my mother-in-law that same weekend.  It wasn't easy, and I left a lot of housework undone for a few days, but wrapped the story up an hour or so before Jon's mom left.  It's a great book, very well written, but also rather heavy.  Thankfully, it has a happy ending, as all good books should.
 
For my birthday this year, my husband got me a new camera.  After much research and going back and forth, we finally settled on a Nikon D5000.  And I absolutley love it!!  Now for all you Canon fans out there, I have nothing against other makes and models, nor do I know enough about photography to provide an ample argument for or against Nikons.  We went with this camera for the simple reason that both my brothers have Nikons and since I have no photography training or background whatsoever, I rely on them for advice and assistance.  Plus I got a good deal.  'Nuff said. 


I've already said it a few times just in the last few sentences, but I want to re-iterate - I don't know a thing about photography.  Please don't judge me.  Everything I learned up until know I've gleaned from my brothers, on the spot, probably during our beach vacation.  I hope you've noticed a small difference in my pictures since July but if not, clearly I still have a long way to go.  I've been wanting to take a photography class at our local community college, but time is an issue.  So instead I decided to investigate some books.  I decided to go with Scott Kelby's Digital Photography.  There are three volumes.  I read the first, have the third in my paddy just waiting for a quiet, free moment to devour, and the second one has been on hold at the library FOR EVER.  Apparently someone else shares the Kelby-love.  I went with these books for no other reason than that my favorite photog blogger (shall I say Photogger) recommended them, and my local library actually has them.
 
Not only are they highly informative, but also unexpectedly funny.  I laughed out loud a few times, which caught me a little off-guard coming from a camera book.  They are also easy and fast to read.  And not at all technical which is great because, in case you aren't aware, I don't know a thing about photography.  Like I said, I've only read the first one so far.  I took lots of notes but I'm hoping Volume II or III will have a few more answers for me to burning questions like:  "How do I take tack sharp photos of fidgeting toddlers and bobbing babies?" or "How do I get a 2 year old and a 7 month old to both look at the camera and smile at the same time?" or "What's the easiest way to include myself in a picture so my boys don't grow up and wonder where their mom was for the first 5 years of their life?"  So anyway, if you are interested at all in improving your memory-capturing skills, these are great books to have on hand.
 
For an early Christmas present this year my hubby got me a smartphone (yes, I am incredibly spoiled but I "needed" this for work!!).  I went with a Droid because, you guessed it, that's what my brothers have, and once again I rely on them for all things technical and advanced.  I've only had it for two weeks but I am absolutley, positively digging this thing.  Is there anything it can't do?  Well, yes there is.  But that's for another post.  One thing it most definitely can do is Kindle for Amazon.  I discovered this on the long drive from Maryland to PA and then from PA to NJ and then from NJ to PA and from PA to Maryland last week.  So just in case you're wondering where I get all this time to read, well there's your answer.
 
Now, up until recently I was very much opposed to Kindle and electronic books in general.  For me, so much of reading is the tactile experience.  The page turning, the bookmarking, the smell of touch of paper, the weight of a book in your hands ... I could go on.  And then there's my dream of one day having a library with walls and walls of bookshelves, a fireplace, leather furniture and maybe a bear skin rug and a moose head over the mantle.  And not that I love traditional books any less, but I have experienced first hand the benefit of electronic books.  They're easy to transport, easy to accrue, and able to be read in the dark.  So when you find yourself shoved in the back row of an SUV next to a sleeping baby on a 3 hour trip at night, you can turn to your phone and peruse the "free classics" category of Kindle.  Too cool.  I settled on The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes because it was listed at #2 (and then bumped up to #1 after I downloaded it) and I had never read it.  I can't believe I've been missing out on this treasure for 27 years now.  I mean, it's a classic, so I can't really recommend it anymore than the ancients before me have been doing for longer than I've been alive.  But I will say:  It's good, really good.  My Kindle-phone also came in handy during quiet nursing sessions throughout the Thanksgiving holiday.  Hey, if you're gonna have to remove yourself to a dark, quiet room and minimize all conversations and distractions just so your little one actually eats ... you might as well have something to read!
 
With all that traveling and nursing, I easily finished the book in two days.  By this point I was sold on Kindle and still had one more drive ahead of me.  So we finished off the holidays with Beauty and the Beast and I'm currently wrapping up Jane Austen's Love and Freindship.  And yes, I spelled that correctly.  Or incorrectly.  Because she spelled it incorrectly.  I've read this book before.  It is nowhere near the masterpiece of her other more famous novels, but it's also one of her earliest works.  She was probably like a tween when she wrote it.  And it shows.  It's all satire.  Funny, but lacking the depth that we all know and love in her other novels.  Still, it gives a true fan a good glimpse into early Austen.
 
Phew, things are heating up around here for the holidays.  Not sure how much reading I'll get done ove the next few weeks but I will say that there is one book I've been dying to get my hands on for over 2 years now, and I finally found it at a library a few counties over.  Now I'm just waiting for word that it's arrived and waiting for me to come pick up.  I hope it's everything I've heard it would be so you can all wait with baited breath for our next recommended reads installment!!

I'm Bookin' It in the Fall

It's been a little busy around here lately.  I'm not quite sure why but the fact that I've only read 3.5 books in the last two months is indication enough that I haven't had much down time.  Now, some of you may think that's a lot but let's keep in mind here that reading is my hottest hobby, my #1 pasttime.  Some people watch TV, some people sew, some people bake, some people do Sudoku.  I read.  And when I don't have time to read I can get a little cranky.  So that is why I try to make sure I have regular, healthy doses of literature year round.  Thankfully books are always in season.

On the other hand, I do feel a bit guilty complaining that I'm busy, or that I need a break or that I don't get enough free time ... and then turn around and say I just finished my fourth book in 8 weeks.  And just so you don't think that I'm lounging on my couch all day with a book on my lap while my 2 year old grabs the grated parmesan cheese off the counter and proceeds to dump it onto the floor and then sweep it back up again (this did just happen tonight but I was doing dishes, not reading), I thought I'd explain just when I indulge in my favorite hobby. 

First of all, I should mention that I'm a fast reader.  And I don't ruminate on sentences and paragraphs.  I didn't realize people did this until I married my husband.  He claims that he will read, and re-read a paragraph several times in order to fully grasp it's meaning.  If something doesn't make sense to me ... I usually just keep reading.  I do underline.  I do not highlight.  Something about painting flourescent yellow lines on crips black-and-white pages doesn't sit well with me.  So I underline, in pencil.  In case I change my mind someday and want to erase it.  I can also read in the car.  And with all the traveling we seem to do this allows me to catch up on lots of reading. 

I do most of my reading at night.  After the boys are in bed, the toys are all picked up, the dishes washed, the laundry folded, and while the hubby is busy studying.  Some weeks I have lots of [real, paying job] work to do.  In that case I don't get much reading done.  But I do try to get at least a few pages in before going to bed.  And if it's a really good book, like it's been lately, that may mean I stay up later than usual.  Which means I try to sleep in as "late" as my boys will let me, which means I'm a little behind in the mornings, which means I may have skipped a shower once or twice this past week.   Which means I fit right in with my sour-milk-clad baby and my "Look Mom I put the greasy popcorn bowl on my head"-hair-did toddler.

Oh, and sometimes I read while I nurse Jude.  Although this has been increasingly more difficult lately.  I noticed that he eats best when it's just me and him, in the quiet front room, on the left side of the couch, with a pillow on either side, when I hold him in tight, he twists his upper hand in my shirt, and I stare into his eyes the entire time.  I noticed that he does not eat well when I'm on the computer, watching TV, in the same room as Jack, and even now - reading.  Just the sound of the page turning makes his eyes go wide and his head fling in every other direction.  Geesh, sensitive much?

I noticed one other thing when I would read and nurse Jude too, and Jon can back me up on this.  The MOMENT I pull out a book, Jude's free hand flies straight up into the air, slaps the page, and immediately begins scratching.  Scratch, scratch, scratch.  Jude is totally my scratcher.  He scratches my shoulder when I'm holding him upright.  He scratches my chest when I'm holding him sideways.  He scratches the bedspread when he's laying on the bed.  He scratches his head when he's tired.  And he scratches the stinkin' page when I'm trying to read! 

And now that I've completely exhausted you with the topic of "reading", I'll just go ahead and share with you what books are keeping me up at night and helping keep Jude's nails filed.

First off, Jon's mom, and excellent source of good books I might add, let me borrow Tea Time for the Traditionally Built by Alexander McCall Smith.  It's book #10 in the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Series.  I haven't read all the books but I just adore this series.  It's completely different than any other fiction I've read.  If you've never heard of the series, it's about a lady detective in Botswana.  But they're not gory body-parts-found-in-the-bottom-of-a-lake kind of mysteries.  They are sweet and light and funny.  And they'll make you feel like you've lived down the street from Botswana all your life.  As a sidenote, HBO started a TV series based on the books last year.  I just started watching them on Amazon on-demand and am in love.  The music and accents really make the stories come alive!  Moving on ...

Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron.  This is the 1/2 book I read this month.  I didn't exactly read it, since it's a "cookbook" of sorts and I'm not the type of person to sit down and read through hundreds of recipes.  But I did get through most of the book on the drive to Connecticut earlier this month.  If you are considering making your own baby food for your little one then I highly recommend this book.  If you are easily overwhelmed with too much information and just want an easy, straightforward resource, then I do not recommend this book.  I mean, it's really good.  And it's not just recipes or baby-food how to's.  She has a section of crafts, a section of making your own cleaning products, a section on parties, etc.  This is also a healthy, organic kind of book.  I learned stuff about flour I never knew before.  So like I said.  It's very good, an excellent resource, but kinda "messy" and overhwhelming.  You can't go through it all at once (I've been working on this book since Jack was little) and you can't expect to do it all.  That said, if you're still interested in making your own baby food and don't want to get the book, I think http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/ is the best website.  It's simple, easy to navigate, and has color pictures.  Something Super Baby Food does not.

One of our new Maryland friends loaned me The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. This was such a refreshing read. A good reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing. Because, let's face it, sometimes in the middle of haven't-had-a-shower-in-48-hours-and-there's-parmesan-cheese-all-over-the-floor kinda weeks, it's easy to forget. So much of what she said about being a mom just made plain, good sense. I like that. This wasn't my book so I couldn't underline. But I did take notes. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

"I needed to nurture my children with my songs, my words, and my physical labor, treating each day as sacred in their development toward becoming healthy, mature adults. I needed to face the reality that all of the "important stuff" I was longing to do had far less eternal significance than what I was involved in doing. If I didn't commit myself wholeheartedly to the demands of motherhood, I would never be able to do my best, because my heart always be somewhere else" (p. 45).

"One of the first things I have always considered was how to make the physical home a giving place - a source of rest, comfort, beauty, peace, and pleasure for those who live there as well as for those who visit" (p. 164).

"Learning to live with the tension of never getting all our work done and still being content is a worthwhile attitudinal goal as we serve our children" (p. 169).

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who never seems to get all her work done.

"... for children to develop a healthy attachment to home, there must be time built in for nurture, instruction, training, and just plain fun - together" (p. 173).

Oh be still my beating heart! This lady and I are so on the same page!

"Children thrive on routine. Daily and weekly routines provide children with a sense of belonging, a sense of confidence in knowing what to do and when to do it, a pride in their own home life and work, and a feeling of stability and constancy in a world that is rife with change. Routines also help parents because they avoid the need for constant and repetitive planning" (p. 173-174).

This was the chapter I was reading that convinced me I needed to let Jack play in the rain. :)
"... one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is exposure to this magnificent creator through the wonderful things he has made. Their appetites for life need to be built on those things that reflect the image of god through the work of His fingers" (p. 187).

Okay, just one more!!

"Homes that are being established and protected by mothers who have a clear vision of their God-designed role can bring refuge and life and hope to a generation of children who need to grow strong in order to be able to battle the storms they will one day face" (p. 225).

Seriously, I think the author had my number while writing most of this book.  There are a few things we might differ on.  And although she doesn't address it in-depth in this book, I think (from reading other things of her's) we would probably part ways on methods of discipline.  That's where Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp comes into play.  This was recommended to me by fellow Coastie wife, Lizzy and I have a feeling it's going to be my go-to book for the next, oh 30 years or so.  I cannot say enough how much this book has helped me to better understand training and instruction and, ugh, discipline.  I think I was caught a little off-guard by this phase of parenthood.  And since Jude was born things have just been snowballing.  And it's confusing.  There are so many different philosophies and trends when it comes to childrearing, it's impossible to learn them all and even more difficult to determine which one is best.  Or it was, until know.  This is what we'll be doing and that's that.  I won't go into it too much, because discipline is personal ... and controversial and we're not about wreaking havoc on this blog.  But I will mention a few things that impressed me.

First, and this should be so obvious by the title of the book and yet it escaped me, is his emphasis on the child's heart.  Not his behavior.  In other words, a child's actions are the result of what's in his heart. "A child's heart determines how he responds to your parenting" (p. 16).  For example, we've been having some issues with Jack unzipping the couch cushions and pulling out the stuffing.  I thought the problem was he was being destructive.  Nope, the problem was that Mommy had told him not to unzip the cushions and he did anyway.  The problem was that he was being disobedient.  Tripp also makes the point that parents are in authority because God has called them to be so, and has commanded us to act as God's agent when dealing with our children.  And when we don't, we're the ones being disobedient.  To borrow a word from my son, "Ouchies."  I guess I never realized the responsiblity was so great. 

Another area he discusses are unbiblical goals to childrearing, such as developing special skills, psychological adjustment, saved children, family worship, well behaved children, and good education. I think I've been guilty of most, if not all of them.  There is only one goal to focus on, and that is "teaching your children to live for the glory of God" (p. 56).  He also address unbiblical methods, distortions of biblical methods, and objections to biblical methods.  And, as a comm studies major myself, I can't help but appreciate his emphasis on communication.  It sounds cliche, but it really is the cornerstone to any healthy relationship, even one between parents and kids.  The final three chapters are devoted specifically to training infants and toddlers, children, and teenagers.  There are a whole lot of snippets and great quotes in this book too, but since I was holding Jude while reading the majority of it, I couldn't underline or take notes.  I plan on going back through it again soon.

Parenting really is an awesome responsibility.  We have a lot to work on with Jack, and most of that work has to take place within ourselves, but I really feel so much better about the direction we're headed and a lot more confident as a parent as well. 

I'm Booking It (August)

Despite being a busy summer, I was able to carve out a bit of time each week to indulge in some great reads.  I got a lot of reading done while traveling in the car, an entire series completed during our week at the beach and lately I've been stealing an hour or so in the evenings after the little guys have gone to bed and Jon is busy doing homework.  I feel like we've finally got our lives together from the move, things have slown down considerably now that summer is over, and Jude has started going to bed at the same time as Jack, so it's nice to have some legitimate time to settle down with a book during the week.

For starters, I read the Song of Acadia series written by Janette Oke and T. Davis Bunn.  I read the first book, and maybe the second, of this series many, many years ago, before the rest of the books were written.  It's been so long I've forgotten about them.  After reading A Mother's Hope earlier and getting frustrated that I'll have to wait months and months to read the next one, I remembered the last time this happened to me.  I also needed some good, "quick" reads to take to the beach.  Janette Oke is one of my favorite authors, I knew they were a safe pick, and to top it all off all 5 books were at the library, sitting together on the shelf, and within easy reach when I was in a hurry to escape the "quiet" library with a toddler exercising his "outside voice."  These are great books from proven authors and the perfect choice for fast beach reads.  I mean, it's Janette Oke, 'nuff said.

While I was re-organizing my bedstand I realized I had started, but never finished, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers.  I wish I had finished this months ago when I began it because it had some great information that I could have used back then, especially the section on adding a second baby to your family.  A lot of it was common sense, or at least it seemed so in hindsight.  But it did help open my eyes to a few "mistakes" I've been making.  For instance, Hogg suggests that you never "blame" things on the baby, such as saying, "Jack, we have to leave the park now because Mommy needs to feed Jude."  She claims this will build animosity between your kids.  I don't know if I'd take it that far, but I do try to be more careful about making Jude seem like the party pooper.  I'm a big fan of the Baby Whisperer for Babies, and while this book did have some helpful information, I think toddlerhood may be where Hogg and I part ways.  Even so, if she was alive and willing, I'd have her over in heartbeat to "analyze" my toddler.  Now THAT would be fun.

I also came across 101 Things You Didn't Know about Jane Austen in my bedstand.  My sister-in-law Kate gave this to me for Christmas, which is when I started reading it.  It must have been during one of my cleaning frenzies that I put it away (in a proper location no less) and then promptly forgot about it.  Out of sight, out of mind.  So I brought it back out, set it back on top of the bedstand where it belonged, and I've been reading bits and pieces of it ever since.  First off, this book is just plain cute.  It's small, square and divied up into 101 segments no more than a few pages long.  It makes the best nursing reading.  I think the title is a bit misleading though.  I was expecting more trivia or long-lost secrets.  Instead, it reads more like a biography, and is basically a collection of random information about my most favorite author.  I think one of my favorite parts of this book is the references page at the end, because it's provided me with an entire list of new reads to tackle over the next few months, starting with ...

Sandition by Jane Austen and "Another Lady."  This was the novel that Jane was working on when she died, thus it was never finished.  It wasn't until after I started reading the version I got from the library that I realized she had only written the first 11 chapters, which was maybe 1/4 of the book.  At first, I have to admit, I was a bit annoyed.  I thought it was pretty obvious where Jane left off and some unknown stranger picked up.  I never got over the fact that "Another Lady" referred to all the gentlemen using their first names.  I don't know about you, but it took me about 3 reads of Pride and Prejudice before I realized Darcy's first name was Fitzwilliam.  Besides that glaring difference, the entire time I'm reading the book I kept thinking, "I wonder if this is where she really meant to take this novel."  I guess we'll never know.  But while it isn't authentically "Jane", it was close.  And after I got over that fact I began to enjoy the book a bit more as just another good story.  I would recommend it to other Jane fans.  I think it contains some of her most interesting characters.  And since reading it I've learned there exists at least one other version.  So of course, I'll have to explore that as well.

Finally, I've crossed off another title on the list of "Books to Read" that I've been keeping since college.  Amusing Ourselves to Death was mentioned a lot during my Communication classes as an undergrad and graduate student.  I've read a few excerpts from it as well as a different book from the author, Neil Postman, but hadn't yet got my hands on the actual book.  I had completely forgotten about it until I saw it on a list of recommended books on a website I was exploring.  It must be a popular book because all copies at all area libraries were checked out and I had to put a hold on it a few weeks back.  It took me a bit of reading to really get in to it.  I've been out of school for two years now and haven't done much academic reading since then.  But it's all coming back to me now.  In fact, I'm really wishing I had just bought a copy for myself because I'm constantly having to refrain from underlining.  This was a great choice to beat my "it's-August-and-I-miss-being-a-student" blues.
Favorite quotes:
  "...telegraphy gave a form of legitimacy to the idea of context-free information; that is, to the idea that the value of information need not be tied to any function it might serve in social and political decision-making and action, but may attach merely to its novelty, interest, and curiosity.  The telegraph made information into a commodity, a "thing" that could be bought and sold irrespective of its uses or meaning" (p. 65). 
"In the information world created by telegraphy, this sense of potency was lost, precisely because the whole world became the context for news.  Everything became everyone's business.  For the first time, we were sent information which answered no question we had asked, and which, in any case, did not permit the right of reply"  (p. 69). 
"Where people once sought information to manage the real contexts of their lives, now they had to invent contexts in which otherwise useless information might be put to some apparent use" ergo we now have crossword puzzles, cocktail parties, quiz shows and "Trivial Pursuit" (p. 76).
I found myself constantly thinking of today, 25 years after Postman wrote this book, and how much Facebook, Twitter and other social media resemble telegraphy.
Of course, this book was really about television and how this medium has affected society.  It was interesting, but not exactly what I was expecting to read.  Rather than suggesting we bust up our TVs or begin regulating the quality of programming, Postman says that "Television ... serves us most usefully when presenting junk-entertainment; it serves us most ill when it co-opts serious modes of discourse--news, politics, science, education, commerce, religion--and turns them into entertainment packages" (p. 159).  Now, if you'll excuse me, "Top Chef" is on and I should probably go Tweet about how I've learned to cook bacon three ways.  Bacon foam.  Yum.

I'm Booking It! (June/July)

Somehow I managed to read two books before we moved.  I actually had picked up Emma for a quaint little re-read, then remembered the "no Austen" promise I made in my last post and put it back.  Instead, I grabbed a book based on one of my most favorite movies North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell.  And no, it is not referring to the Civil War as I, and several of my friends, once thought.  It's about the difference between the north (industrial) and the south (farming) of England. And naturally with a little romance thrown in.  I got the book for Christmas right after Jack was born and thought that I had never read it, but about halfway into it I realized that maybe I had.  I'm still not quite sure.  Anyway, it's one of my all-time favorite novels.  And if you don't feel like reading a long book, the movie is also fantastic.  Someday I'm going to convince my husband to sit down and watch it with me since it is a bit economical. 

Ever since my semester in Oxford studying Jane Austen I've been digging footnotes.  I love the Penguin classics with the introductory notes (usually written by some uber-intelligent doctoral fellow) and the little numbers directing you to the back half where you can get the full background of just one word or phrase.  So while reading North and South I found out Gaskell was good buddies with the Bronte sisters.  Which led me to my next selection Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte.  Actually, I had originally planned on re-reading Jane Eyre (I know, I know, I'm such a re-reader) but then remembered I'm not crazy about the first few chapters of that book.  And it is a touch depressing, which didn't suit my start-of-summer mood.  Agnes Grey was a lot shorter too and we were moving in a few days so it seemed the better choice.  And, once again, about halfway through the book, I realized I had read it before.  This book is okay, I actually enjoyed reading the introductory notes more than the actual story.  I think all the Bronte's books are dark and depressing.  Plus it reminded me of my days as a Nanny in college.  *shudder*  Bad memories.

Then we moved and I took a break from reading for a while.  During our camping vacation I read the classic The 5 Love Languages.  I really want to read the one for kids but figured I'd start with this one, especially since it was sitting in my mom's house and I needed something to bring to the campground.  I used to think my love language was "Acts of Service."  My husband assured me it was not. :)  After reading the book I'm pretty sure it's actually "Words of Affirmation."  So lay it on me people!  Haha, just kidding.  Jon is a bit more difficult.  He's somewhere between "Gifts" and "Acts of Service" with maybe a little "Words ..." thrown in there.  We're still trying to figure that one out.  We think Jack is a "Quality Time" kind of boy.  He wants to be with either Mommy or Daddy all day.  Then again, he also likes "Touch."  That kid gets so many back massages and head scratches ... and he gets a kick out of all our cheering and hooraying when he does something good so maybe he's a little "Words..." too.  I think most kids are combos anyway.

I ended up finishing the Love Languages book on our first day of camping.  Thankfully, my mom returned one of my all-time favorite, non-fiction books in the whole world Feminine Appeal by Carulyn Mahaney.  I had lent it to her last summer and she's been reading and re-reading it this whole time.  So yes, I re-read another book.  But this one is just that good.  I'll probably read it once a year for the rest of my life.  Or until I get it right.  Anyway, if you're a wife and/or a mom I would highly recommend this.  The information is based in Titus 2- what it means to be a biblical woman, and honestly, it gives me fresh vision each time I read it.  It's one of the most challenging, yet hope-full books I have ever read.  Now, doesn't that make you want to go out and buy it THIS INSTANT?  I hope I don't let you down. 

And finally, my mother-in-law lent me If I Gained the World by Linda Nicholswhile we were home last weekend.  I wasn't crazy about it, but was certainly thankful for something to keep me occupied on our drive to and from NY to visit Jon's grandparents, and then back down to Maryland.  Which explains how I was able to finish all 600-some pages of it in 3 days.  It's not bad, just not incredible.  Certainly no Francine Rivers.  :) 

And with that said, I'm off to re-organize our bookshelf and pack up all the books that didn't make "the cut" tihs move.  Hopefully I can find a few good reads for our upcoming beach vacation!

I'm Booking It: Finally Some Fiction

Well I took everyone's advice and started reading while nursing Jude. It's not always easy, especially since Jude tends to be a two-handed nurser (for those of you Moms who know what I mean), but I did manage to finish an entire book the first week he was home. Of course, that's when other people were around to entertain Jack, when I was awake a lot longer at night and when I wasn't back to work. Now I can't do much reading when Jack is on the loose, Jude has gotten a lot faster with night-feedings and I hardly have to keep my eyes open, and during the day I'm usually typing emails with my free hand during feedings. But, when I do have a chance, reading is a great alternative.

And so, after months and months of what only feels like books on pregnancy and childrearing, I've really been looking forward to some good fiction. My mom arrived just in time and gave me Francine River's Her Mother's Hope for Mother's Day (or maybe it was a "push present" since she's the Mom and I'm the daughter.) First off, I LOVE Francine Rivers. She just may be my favorite present-day fiction writer. I have the Mark of the Lion series and read all three books several times. That's how much I adore them. So I was super excited to see she came out with another book after what seemed like the longest break. I hadn't read anything about it, so I didn't know what to expect other than it would probably be a book about a mother. And it is, and her relationship with her daughter. I think the author does an excellent job of developing her characters, you feel very close to them throughout the book. I wouldn't call this an upbeat novel, in fact I felt a little depressed throughout much of it, but then again that may have been the hormones talking. I won't say much more about it 'cuz I dont' want to be a spoiler, but the ending is a killer. As in, you think you have "this" many more pages left and then you go to turn to the final chapter and realize that the rest of the book is just addendums and advertisements. I'm totally left hanging and now have to wait until the second book comes out in the fall. Which is why, from now on, I may wait until a series is completed before starting it!

Two books I ended up reading unintentionally this past month were The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. Basically I needed a refresher for Jude, and was also looking for information on gas and growth spurts (how exciting!). I ended up reading all of the Womanly Art and most of the Baby Whisperer, which I'm planning to return to in the near future because the older Jude gets the more questions I have. And with a title like that I'm expecting some great results! :)

One of my most excellent friends here in Virginia, who I am going to miss terribly, gave me a few books as a goodbye gift. One of them was a perfect "read while nursing" book - Dirt Cheap Green Thumb. It's a small, short-ish read. Easy to get through in two feedings (or less if your kid is a lazy eater). Our new house has a small "salsa garden" and according to the landlord's last email, there are tomatoes already waiting for our arrival! For my birthday I'm asking for a square foot garden, so this book was chock-full of excellent gardening information. Since I'm a novice, everything is new and good to me! We'll see how this garden thing goes.

Finally, someone let me borrow Have a New Husband By Friday. I only had it for two days and was able to finish it in time by skipping the two chapters on abuse, which I didn't need. I really enjoy reading marriage books. I think because they usually contain some of the things I learned about in my college Communication classes and also because I'm always looking for ways to improve my relationship with the hubs. This was a pretty good book. A lot of information I had heard before but some new stuff as well. Unlike some of the other books I've read, this is written by a man to an audience of women, and there is no male version of the book. It was interesting to hear his perspective on the female sex - he often mentions how great we are at multi-tasking and "doing it all." If what he says is true, I think I've gained a new understanding of how men view their wives and collected a few ideas for our own relationship.

Okay, so looking back maybe I only got to one fiction book last month.  But that's one more than last month.  And I've already started a new novel for next month's post that I'm totally giddy about.  Can't wait to pull this one out of my bag when we're at the new pool in a few weeks.  Because nothing says SUMMER like 17th century England, right?  And just in case you think you've got me figured out, I will say it is not a Jane Austen book.  In fact, all my Jane novels have been relegated to the back bookshelf and will remain there at least for the duration of the year.  A girl's gotta take a break at some point!  Until then ...

Bringing Up Boys

This past month was a little slow in the reading lane. I was doing so good, plowing through my reading list and then somewhere along the line my tires spun out. I would like to tell you it's because I've been nesting like a mad woman, eagerly preparing for #2's arrival. But that would be a lie. Poor #2. If he was born today we'd have to bring him home from the hospital in a musty-smelling car seat that Daddy carved out of the ice in our freezing attic. I think the real reason I haven't done much reading lately is because (a) Jon showed me how to download Tetris onto my phone. This was one of my favorite video games growing up, and Jon and I have been both been intent on beating one another's score. And (b) Jon's been on Spring break and we decided to catch up on this season of 24 that we DVR'd. Evenings after Jack goes to bed have been very intense in our house as we've watched Jack Bauer save the world. Both Jon and I have maxed out Tetris and we've completely caught up on 24, so hopefully I'll get back to my books this week!

So, since my last update I've read 1.5 books. Not counting the hundreds of times this past week I've "read" Hop on Pop, Watch Me Go and Goodnight, Sweet Butterflies. I say "read" because Jack insists on turning the pages himself, which he does so fast I usually only get to read one or two words a page. Currently I'm reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God, which I saw on several other Book It bloggers reading lists. I happened to get it for free (plus shipping) thanks to Money Saving Mom. I'm not quite halfway through it, and I haven't really "gotten into it" yet. So maybe I'll write about it in next month's review ... if I can manage to do one in April. :)

So, without further ado, the one book I managed to complete this month was Dobson's Bringing Up Boys. (As I typed that title my son came running out of the kitchen carrying a bread knife longer than his arm.) *sigh* I needed this book. And I enjoyed it even more than I thought I would. Several times I laughed out loud, then shuddered as I realized I will probably have very similar stories to tell about my two boys in a few years. For instance Dobson writes:

"... one of the scariest aspects of raising boys is their tendency to risk life and limb for no good reason. It begins very early. If a toddler can climb on it, he will jump off it. [As I type this line Jack is standing and jumping on top of the coffee table.] He careens out of control towards tables, tubs, pools, steps, trees, and streets. [I feel better knowing my kid isn't the only one that runs into walls or smacks his head on furniture several times a day.] He will eat anything but food and loves to play in the toilet. [I wish I could tell you what Jack pulled out of the trash last night, dipped into the toilet and then put into his mouth but it's so bad I can't.] He makes "guns" out of cucumbers or toothbrushes and likes digging around in drawers, pill bottles, and Mom's purse. ... His mom has to watch him every minute to keep him from killing himself. He loves to throw rocks, play with fire, and shatter glass. [Or, in our case, Mommy's favorite serving platter that she got as a wedding gift.] He also gets great pleasure out of irritating his brothers and sisters, his mother, his teachers, and other children. [Have I mentioned that Jack's Sunday School "teacher" informed us last week that he was hitting and shoving other kids?] ... Not every boy is like this, of course, but the majority of them are."

Hmmm, I'm pretty sure Jack falls in the majority here. And by the way #2 has attempted to break through my uterine wall these last two days, I'm thinkin' he's going to end up following in his big brother's footsteps.

Aside from the numerous instances where I found myself saying, "He's talking about my son!" Dobson also provides great information on the difference between males and females and why these are important, the current risk to traditional gender roles in today's world, and what I found most alarming, how current society has impacted our boys. It made me realize what great responsibility I have a mother to a little boy, a future man that both Jon and I think is going to be a great leader some day. I have to admit, it's just a little scary to hear that the odds are stacked against your son.

Dobson also offers suggestions for how to raise your little guy, provide loving discipline (ugh, why have I been dreading this phase!!) and plenty of opportunities for him to just be a boy. I no longer worry about Jack and Jon wrestling on the floor every night, because I realize it's not just natural but important. Although I love when Jack suddenly stops wrestling to give his Daddy a kiss... and then starts right back up again. :) Not sure how long that will last. Apparently around 18 months is when boys start to pull away from their Mommas and begin identifying more with their Dads. We're already seeing this in our house. Just last week, Jon came home from work, sat down in his easy chair, and put his feet up with a big sigh. Then we laughed as we watched Jack sit in his own chair and let out a big sigh just like his Dad.

So yes, Jack's our wild child. Sometimes he literally wears me out, and Jon too. But we both agree we wouldn't change him for the world. I love his sense of adventure, his fearless approach to new things, his desire to learn and understand his expanding world, his interest in being involved in EVERYTHING. Yes, these traits get annoying sometimes, but they're what makes him him. We have our work cut of for us, providing loving discipline in order to change our son's will without breaking his spirit and raising a boy to be a real man in a world that seems to be working against that. But I can't think of a better, more rewarding job than bringing up some boys ... and hopefully ... someday ... please Lord... maybe a sister or two?

I'm Bookin' It!

Okay, so I am officially participating in Life As Mom's "I'm Bookin' It" challenge! I just love to read, so does Jon, and we have the overflowing bookshelves and boxes in the attic to prove it (speaking of those boxes, I'm so glad the Coast Guard will be providing movers to carry those things in June!!). You also saw my end of the year reading plan which has been stacked by my bed for quite a while. Well, I'm happy to say I got through most of those books ... and then some. So I'm starting on a new reading plan for the New Year, and the new phase of our life that we'll be entering into in about 2 months! You might notice a theme here ...

Jon has been training for his upcoming half-marathon. Our Coastie friends Nick, Lindsey and Rose will be joining us in March. Everyone but me and the babes will be running. And I am perfectly fine with that! I must confess, I HATE to run. No lie, it is probably on my list of Top 10 Things I Most Dislike to Do. And so I pretty much don't. I endured it during my years of field hockey and one year of track :) but have rarely picked up the pace since high school. In fact, I think the last time I ran was during our first year of marriage. We were living in the original Love Nest, which was conveniently located right next to a state park with miles of hiking, biking and running paths. Jon wanted to go out for a jog, and I wanted to be with my hunk of a husband. Less than a mile later I informed him I was done and he sprinted on ahead. I always had shin splints in high school, but you would think they'd be gone after 4 years. In fact, my husband assured me they couldn't possibly still be around. But by the time I had walked home that day my shins were on fire, and it hurt to walk for 4 straight days after that. Jon thought I was being a big wuss, and I began to wonder if maybe I was. I always thought I had a semi-high pain tolerance, but seriously, who can't run a mile? So it was then that I told myself, and Jon, that someday I would have a baby and have one naturally just to prove to him that I'm not a sissy, that I can handle pain, and that when I complain that my shins hurt I REALLY MEAN IT!

And that, dear readers, is the real reason I began my pursuit of a pain-med-free, intervention-less childbirth. Since then I've learned bit more about the benefits of "going naturally," but I had to tell you the honest story of how it all began!

So while Jon has been training for his upcoming marathon I've been training for my own - the birth of our second child. And for me, the best way to prepare is, of course, to read! Here's what I've read so far:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin

This was on my list of books to read when I was pregnant with Jack, but I never got around to it. If you look up midwife in the dictionary you should find Ina May's name after it. I would consider her to be the midwife of all midwives. Back in the 70s she started a communal living area/out-of-hospital birth center called "The Farm." The first part of this book is all birth stories from woman who delivered at "The Farm." Normally I love birth stories, but these got old after a while. Some stories were encouraging, others were just a little beyond what I'm personally comfortable with. I read about half of these, then skipped ahead to the second half of the book which is all about labor and birth. After reading this book I realized how much I didn't know going into Jack's birth, especially about the whole physical - emotional connection. I highlighted and marked up many portions of this book to go back and read over again closer to THE BIRTH. There were so many little tidbits in this book that I want to remember too - like blowing raspberries during labor may help you relax. I also realize, after reading this, how special Jack's birth was, and how well things worked out for us that day. On the same note, this book also made me afraid of all the things that could "go wrong" for our next birth. I don't think that is at all the author's intention, but I couldn't help but wonder just what my chances are of having a straightforward birth when there are so many factors to consider. In fact, after I finished reading it, I began to really worry about delivering at the hospital again and whether I could continue to expect the kind of mostly-positive experience we had with Jack. So I started researching our military benefits, what would be required of me to change to a civilian doctor or midwife, and whether the local birthing center would accept these benefits. In my search, I stumbled across a few message boards about military healthcare, and delivering naturally in Hampton Roads, and one of the posters recommended the next book I read ...

Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care - Jennifer Block

I looked it up on Amazon, read a few reader reviews and then did something I never do - went out the next day and bought it, brand new for full price. I always buy books used or check them out of the library, but the library didn't carry it, the used prices weren't that much lower, and I really wanted it for our vacation out West. If you're looking for a diplomatic view of your childbirth options than this would not be the book for you, but if you're interested in understanding the history of modern maternity care and why doctor's and hospitals handle maternity care the way they do, then I would highly recommend this book. Even if you're not interested in a natural delivery, I think it contains good information about what to expect from modern maternity care in a hospital. The author is a journalist, and I really liked her style of writing. After reading this I actually started to feel better about delivering at the Navy hospital again. Sure I won't have a doctor with whom I have a relationship, or even one that I know. I think this is one case where not having a relationship with your medical caregiver almost works to my advantage. I don't have to worry about being induced to meet a doctor's schedule, or be rushed to deliver before a change of shift. The doctor's at the Navy hospital aren't making more money by taking on more patients than they can handle, handing out more epidurals or ordering more c-sections. They make money from tax dollars. :)

I liked the real-life birth stories in this book, even though many of them weren't positive. I also learned a lot of new information about c-section rates and VBACS. And gained a new interest in the whole underground homebirth movement. Some of the stories of how far woman were willing to go to avoid a repeat c-section were fascinating! In fact, the whole "showing up pushing" thing has really captured my interest. Generally, this is done by women who have previously had a c-section and want to ensure a trial of labor the next time around. They'll drive to the hospital, labor in the parking lot for as long as possible, and potentially walk into L&D while the baby is crowning. You would think this would guarantee them a VBAC but apparently it's not always so - it's also amazing what some doctors will do to protect themselves. One woman labored at home for as long as possible, walked into the hospital as her baby was about to be born and, without her consent, was given "oxygen" that knocked her out and wheeled to the OR for surgery. Wow! Thankfully I don't have to worry about a VBAC at this point, but I will admit, the thought of arriving at the hospital just in time to push has it's appeal.

My two complaints with this book are the author's view of abortion (it was completely out of place and awkward in a book about childbirth) and the fact that she unloads this slew of information about the sad state currently maternity care and the growing popularity of homebirths and birth centers, all of which I agree with, but offers no real solutions. Even a solid birth plan can't protect a woman's rights and, she claims, only gives them a false sense of power. I can see her perspective, but I was very thankful that I had a birth plan I believed in with Jack, one that all the doctor's and nurses that attended me reviewed that night, and one that my husband was willing to stand up for when I was too tired to do it myself. We'll definitely be going that route again!

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth - Henci Goer

This was recommended to me by aspiring natural-birther friend. After reading the previous two books, a lot of the information in this book I had heard before. So I kinda rushed through it. Plus, I borrowed it from the library so that means no underlining or making notes and that means no anecdotes off the top of my head. My favorite part of this book is the layout. Each chapter covers a different aspect of childbirth and and that subject is then broken down into different sections like "The Bottom Line...", "Pros and Cons of ...", "Questions to ask about...", and "Gleanings from Medical Literature..." So if you don't to read through the whole book, it's easy to find information on one specific topic. The author also offers lots of suggestions and strategies. That said, be prepared for a very biased discussion. She says right in her introduction that she will not be objective and that her goal is to convert you to her way of thinking, but I appreciate her honesty. I also thoroughly enjoyed the charts and graphs in the back of the book. We all know how much I love numbers. Stuff like episiotomy rates, c-section rates and induction rates. It got me interested in my own hospitals data. I found this handy webpage with information on Virginia Obstetrics - http://www.vhi.org/ob_reports_results.asp, but it appears that it doesn't include any data on the Navy Hospital nor any doctors that work there. Heck, it would be nice to just find a few names of doctors on staff there! I was supposed to do my hospital pre-admissions work weeks ago, so maybe when I stop by to do that I can ask about some numbers. Chances are they won't have anything, but at the very least I could find a list of doctors to Google. :)

Next on my list is Dobson's "Bringing Up Boys." I'd like to get one more Jack-book in before delving into the last of my pre-baby reading, which will include:

Dick-Read's "Childbirth Without Fear" - my all-time favorite childbirth book. I'm not quite sure why, since it is ancient and written by a man, but if I could only read one book to prepare me for labor and delivery this would be the one!

Babywise and the Baby Whisperer (I have the important parts of these underlined so I don't think I'll have to completely re-read them)

Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" (Just a review of the section on newborn sleep since this book is LONG.)

And last but not least, if I can find the time, I'd like to check out "Get Me Out: A History of Childbirth from the Garden of Eden to the Sperm Bank" which was recently recommended by my college-roommate-turned-librarian. It looks entertaining and completely different from all the other books I've read thus far.

So that's where I am now. With just 9 weeks to go, I need to get "bookin' it" before I enter the "no free time" zone. If I only I could still win free pizza for the number of books I finish!