A merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Another Christmas in the books!

I think we need to hop on the "Christmas jammies" bandwagon. These children are a mess!

We celebrated a day early--redeeming the same restaurant we ate at last year and had the most horrific experience, followed by the drive-thru Christmas lights, which we also attempted to do last year but ended up bailing because, barf. And then having our own little Christmas in the actual morning, instead of squeezed in during a random free evening or afternoon sometime that week.

She was upset because we interrupted "Chaw-cha-chool" to make her open gifts.

And then she was upset because we all laughed at her. This girl!

The boys broke into our room at 2:45am on our unofficial Christmas morning and Jon sent them straight back to bed in his gruffest 2:45am voice. Meanwhile, I rolled over with a smile because our kids are at that age where they're finally, legitimately excited and Christmas actually feels like Christmas and not just any other morning.

If you happen to see a Frozen microphone at Target ...

... turn around and walk away. Trust me on this. You do not need a microphone that plays the same 10 second segment over and over and over.

It's a true milestone. Someday soon we hope to hit the milestone of "celebrating Christmas morning at our own house." But for now, we'll travel to Pennsylvania just because we can and this may be the last year we live close enough to do that. So immediately following our own little family's festivities, we packed up and shipped out for Christmas Eve dinner and gifts with Jon's family.

Kid-safe candlelight service.

Aunt "Ay-chel" is officially that relative that buys the obnoxiously large stuffed animal that your child simply adores!

And then arrived at my parents late that night to sleep and wake up on the "official" Christmas morning.

I love when Marmie busts out the "former Kindergarten teacher" moves. It's borderline miraculous.

I mean, these are my children--actually listening and engaged in the Christmas story!

And it was very good.

And Aunt Kylee is officially the relative that can make you feel all loved and special before you even open the gift!

Doggie Doo - another gift you may want to run far, far away from.

Even Jäger got his most favorite gift for Christmas--attention!

As a gift for the entire family, my in-laws took us all to Great Wolf Lodge. We love the Lodge. Well actually, I love that my kids love the Lodge. The whole experience usually leaves my little introverted self curled in a ball in the corner, but the kids are off-the-wall giddy and that makes it totally worth it. Also, Jon's parents treated me to my first-ever facial while we were there. It was heavenly.

Nonnie is so good at Sister Outfits!

Coolest room ever!!

She wasn't as enthusiastic about sleeping on the sofa bed.

I usually try to avoid one-on-one experience like hair cuts, manicures, and dentist visits but I've discovered that one advantage to facials is that you're not expected to hold a conversation. I got to just lay there with my eyes closed, for an hour, in peace and quiet. Pretty sure I haven't done anything remotely similar since Jack was born!

In which someone yelled "Whoever smiles gets a cookie!" Works like a charm.

Central Pennsylvania walks.

And our annual all-you-can-eat-sushi dinner for Jon's birthday!

But now it's Christ's postpartum. The baby has arrived. We exchanged gifts, attended parties, sang and ate and ate and ate ... and now the celebration is over and everyone's gone home. I was telling Jon, during one of our many, many hours in the car this past week, that I love this week--the space between Christmas and New Year's--a chance to play with all these new things, to clean and organize 2015 and then prepare and welcome 2016!

I hate to admit it, but those Black Friday $35 Kindles have positively transformed our road trip experiences!

And now this girl gets the DVD player all to herself!

And then we got home.

We got home with four tired and cranky children and one wild and crazy dog. With oodles and oodles of new gifts that everyone wants to play with all at the same time (with mom's help) and an empty fridge and a Christmas tree surrounded by piles of dead needles. And I'm like, "Who was I kidding? I do not like this week. This week is STRESSFUL!"

Christmas break--in which we let it all hang out.

Jon immediately went back to work while the kids and I stayed home on "break." A "break" that I've almost entirely used on getting the house cleaned up. But thank goodness I'm off work because, even though it's only been 4 months since summer, I'd forgotten what it's like to spend all day, every day with four little people.

Yeah, there are no more diaper changes or nursing schedules. No more middle-of-the-night feedings or long, stretched out moments trying to rock the baby to sleep. Their needs are different these days: watch me sing, watch me dance, watch me do this cool trick! Mom, do you want to see how I craft a diamond sword in Minecraft? Mom, can I gave a drink, a snack, another snack, a treat (that isn't a snack)? Moooom, watch "'chaw-cha-chool (Paw Patrol) downstairs!" (Usually yelled in my face at 5:30am.) Can you play this game, can you paint my nails, can you change my doll's clothes? I'VE GOT BOOGERS!! Why are you wearing that? What's in your hair? Can we make this? Can we make this now? Can we make this later? Mom? Mom? MOOOOOMMMM??

It's.just.so.much.

Meanwhile, all this mama wants to do is get this fire hazard of a Christmas tree out of my living room.

Fa-la-la-la-la!

This is progress, sadly.

Meanwhile, children don't stop requiring clean clothes.

I tossed that tree to the curb! And no, this is not morning. This was definitely taken in the late-afternoon. Don't let the jammies fool you.

I will say, I'm not feeling quite as overwhelmed with gifts this year as I have in the past. The kids have been doing great playing with their Christmas toys. And thankfully, the new art supplies and Adventures in Odyssey CD collection bought me 20 minutes of peace and quiet that enabled me to finish packing up the ornaments (or repacking, since one child in particular has a propensity for undoing all my doings) and hauling them off to the utility room.

It took 3 whole days but most of the house is cleaned up and whatever isn't was thrown into the guest room in preparation for New Year's Eve guests. We actually made an effort to ring in the new year, along with two other couples and our combined 10 children. It was insane--light up balloons, confetti, whistles and kazoos, and a faux Netflix countdown to midnight. But we managed to have a good time and get the kids in bed before 8:30pm.

And no, we did not make it 'til midnight either. My last memory is of Jon crawling into bed and giving me a new year's kiss at 11:36. Curtain closes. Fade to black. ...Until 7:00am and today's edition of  "watch Chaw-cha-chool downstairs!"

The highlight of her NYE--holding THE BABY! After everyone left for the night, she spent 10 minutes screaming, "I WANT THE BABY! I WANT THE BABY!"

I think everyone is strugglin' this morning. For some, it's the effects of a little too much celebration this past week. For others, it's because we've introduced our husbands to Poldark. And having spent the last few nights staying up way past bedtime to cheer on Ross and Demelza, followed by 2-year-olds with no concept of night and day, are now off our routine. And I just don't do well off my routine. 

I plan to spend the rest of this first day of 2016 trying to get back on it. We'll start with a mundane washing of dishes, followed by a sweeping-up of confetti, and finished off with a tackling of the guest room catch-all. And then I'll tell the kids that they can start off this new year with a sleepover IF they go to bed at 7:00pm. Which means I may finally be able to steal a little time for some setting of goals and mulling over my one word for this year. Yay!

Friends, it truly was a merry Christmas. It was also a happy old year, and I am full of faith that 2016 is going to be a happy new year!

2015 Year in Review

It wasn't my intention to "go green" with our Christmas newsletter this year, but I ran out of ink about halfway through printing. And with 4 kids in the house, there is a general lack of [unscribbled] paper in the house. So for everyone that didn't get an actual letter in the mail ... 

So 3 out of 4 are smiling. I would've tried for a few more retakes but immediately following this photo Jäger decided to make a run for it and Jack ended up face first in the mud--right before we needed to leave for church.

Greetings Friends,

All is calm and all is bright in the Tillman household. And since that’s pretty rare before 8pm, I’ve decided to take advantage of this moment and update you all on this past year.

We’ll start with our newest addition. Since Jon declared that 4 children was enough for our little family, we moved on to members of the non-human variety. Jäger (German for “hunter”) joined us in January. He’s a 2-year-old Vizsla/Lab mix rescue dog. After spending the majority of his lifetime in a crate, he’s very appreciative of his new home and family. He’s a sweet and affectionate canine, and a little quirky too. So while he harbors a strange aggression towards moving vehicles and vacuums, he’s kind to the kids and never, ever complains about my cooking.

Our oldest son, Jack, turned 7 in October. He’s having a great year in first grade! And while his mom has a hard time getting him to stay in his seat for homework in the evenings, he’s typically able to finish his math problems faster than her! Jack’s Christmas list can be summed up in two words: Lego and Minecraft. I think we’ve officially reached the age where we have to bribe him to spend time with us—which usually involves laughing (loudly) during family movie nights or curling up next to me while we read The Boxcar Children.

Jude is 5-and-a-half and, according to his teacher, “such a sweet and sensitive little boy.” I’ll admit to being extra-nervous about him starting Kindergarten this year, but he’s surprised us all with his joyous affection for school. He bounds off the bus and immediately starts asking to do homework. And if he doesn’t have any, he’ll make some up. Jack and Jude love playing Legos and Minecraft together, but Jude is also the family artist—often drawing pictures and writing me notes. He’s still our big helper and can typically be found by our side (and asking questions nonstop) whenever we’re cooking dinner or working on a house project.

Our little fashion princess, Julia, turned 4 in October. She started preschool two days a week this fall (that’s right, for 5 hours each week I only have one kid at home!) Lia loves to pick out her “church dress” each Sunday and wear “Mommy’s spray.” (She also likes to get into my makeup when I’m not looking.) Everybody is her “friend”—which is what she calls them all since she can’t keep track of their names. I think her love language is words of affirmation. One time her teacher sent a note home that said “You love to be silly and make people smile and laugh! Your friends and I love that!” Daddy read the note out loud at dinner one night and Lia practically fell out of her chair with pride. She now brings it to me to read to her over and over again. We’re so thankful for her girliness after raising two rough and tumble boys!

The “baby," as she proudly calls herself, turned 2 in July. Jocelyn is our little ball of fire! Surprisingly, she reminds us all of toddler Jack. Joci’s favorite activity is to scale the kitchen cabinets (she literally uses the handles/knobs as a rock climbing wall) to stand on the counter, get into mommy’s cabinet and dump out ALL the spices. Actually, we call her “The Dumper”—my “‘otion,” the kids’ shampoo, a bottle of cleaning spray (all over the TV)—nothing is sacred. She’s also got no qualms about smacking her big older brother when she’s upset or pushing Lia off the couch when she’s in “her seat.” This girl can really throw her weight around!

Speaking of weight, our “baby” has really packed on the pounds this year! In March, Joci underwent open-heart surgery at Johns Hopkins to repair an atrial septal defect (hole in her atrium wall.) The hole was discovered after her pediatrician noticed a heart murmur at her 6-month check-up. The cardiologist team decided to wait until she was older/bigger for surgery. Last February, at her 18-month check-up, they grew concerned that her hard-working heart was affecting her weight gain. And so, a few weeks later, we found ourselves tearfully kissing our baby goodbye in the operating room.

To make a long story short, Jocelyn did phenomenally well! We give God all the glory for our healthy little girl, and are so thankful for all the doctors and nurses we worked with at the hospital. Today, Joci is a chunky and energetic toddler. She’s jumped from the 0^th percentile in weight to the 50^th! And while it’s a huge relief when she finally falls asleep at night and can’t get into any more trouble, I’m secretly thankful for all “The Dumper’s” little antics as they’re poignant reminders that she is whole and healed!

As for me, I’ve started working from home for Regent University again. With 2.5 kids in school during the day, I was looking for something non-Mommyish to keep me occupied. Of course, working full-time might be a little more than I bargained for! The girls and I also participate in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) twice a month and, as a Steering Team member, I manage the finances for our group. I seem to fall more in love with cooking every year, and my poor family is very patient with me and all my new Pinterest recipes. Evenings typically find me collapsed on the couch, after the kids have gone to bed, trying to stay awake long enough to read a chapter or two of a book. Let’s just say I’ve never slept so well or so hard as I do in this season of life!

Jon has become quite the craftsman this year! He made us a gorgeous farmhouse table with room for our whole family plus guests! He also crafted a stand-up desk for his office and some fabulous cedar window boxes for the house. Jon changed Coast Guard positions this summer which, thankfully, meant no more 12-hour and overnight shifts. It also meant he had to spend an entire month in Florida at training (quite the adventure for the kids and I at home!) Although he works long and stressful hours, we’re thankful that he actually enjoys his trade. Jon will be promoted to Lieutenant Commander this spring after a long wait (selected last fall).

You might say the most exciting news of 2015 hasn’t actually happened yet as we are patiently awaiting military orders for next summer. While our original plan was to try to stay one more year here in MD—a place we’ve come to love these last 4.5 year—we now know for sure that we’ll be moving. Our “wishlist” covers nearly every corner of the nation, but wherever we end up, we know it’s going to be an adventure! We’re hoping to hear something soon followed by official orders in mid-February, so be checking Facebook/Instagram/Janine’s blog for the big news (or you could just wait for next year’s Christmas card to arrive with a new return address).

If you had told me 17 years ago, when I was a teenager sporting braces and wide-legged jeans, that in 2015 I’d be married to that cutie from church, birthing 4 babies in 5 years, and preparing for a potential cross-country move with the whole brood—I’m sure I would have never believed it. But God is faithful. I see it as I look back over the last 17 (or 32) years, I see it as I think over the events of this past year, and I see it as we prepare to celebrate the fulfillment of an over 400-year-old promise—our Savior’s birth. I pray that you, too, experience His faithfulness this Christmas and into the new year!

Love,

 Janine

P.S. I’ll now close what could possibly be the longest Christmas letter you receive this year with a reminder that, in case 1300 hundred words isn’t possibly enough, I sporadically update my blog with lots of pictures and gory parenting details at http://coastiemamalogs.blogspot.com.

The long expectation

The countdown is on! Several times a day, the kids are trying to figure out how many days 'til Christmas, how many days 'til "our" Christmas, how many days 'til daddy's birthday... Thankfully, the trusty Lego advent calendar helps them to figure it out on the their own, so they're not always asking me. But either way, it's like having a live, ticking time bomb--a constant reminder of just how little time I have left to get our Christmas act together!

This week at MOPS we discussed "finding rest at Christmas." One of the things we talked about was areas that we can cut back on to make Christmas more restful. Our family has already simplified our celebration a bit this year, simply out of necessity. We hung less lights, haven't put up ALL the decorations, bought fewer gifts, and only made two small batches of cookies for Jon's work party.

Because Dutch Spritz Cookies always taste better when you whip them up naked.

Can you still call it a Christmas cook when it's gluten/sugar free and contains flaxseed?
http://www.twohealthykitchens.com/2013/12/05/no-bake-chocolate-coconut-peanut-butter-bars/

I had visions of bundling the whole family up and trekking out to a tree farm, armed with steaming hot chocolate and holiday cheer, to pick out the perfect Christmas tree. Instead, we settled for stopping by a nearby tree lot on a drizzly afternoon, nabbing the first tree that caught our eye, yelling at the kids to stop running around the tree rows, and then me dragging everyone back to the car so Daddy could finish the transaction in peace--stuffing them all with Swedish Fish and holiday radio in the meantime.

Our kids missed the "we found the perfect tree picture" because they were too busy chasing each other.

Also, she created her own holiday necklace out of old garland.

And I've been trying to be more intentional about taking a break in the evenings--like working on a Christmas puzzle or reading a book--after the kids are in bed. Sometimes I feel guilty for doing something "unproductive" but being purposeful in finding rest has its long term benefits, not the least is a more relaxed mama!

Don't be misled by this picture. I did 97% of this puzzle.

The kind of evening where you actually gasp when you walk out to your car.

All that to say, things at our house aren't exactly any slower or quieter this year, that would be near impossible with 4 kids 7 and under. That would be near impossible with just one child, namely, the 2-year-old. But we are closing out 2015 with a bang--a bang that is NO MORE DIAPERS!!

Yeah, you heard that right. For the first time in just over 7 years, the whole family wears underwear! I'm still in shock. I'm also a little sad that I won't have an excuse to make random Target runs ... but "toothpaste" has quickly replaced "diapers" in the category of "things we're always running out of." I have no idea why ...

 Thankfully, our kids are still young enough that we don't have to deal with holiday concerts and activities yet. Jude and Daddy built a gingerbread house in school on Friday (that Joci promptly redecorated...)

This is the "after" photo of the gingerbread house--complete with stool pushed over to the counter.

That same afternoon, Julia's preschool class sang some Christmas songs and enjoyed a surprise visit from Jolly Old Saint Nicholas himself. Poor girl, she was at the end of the line waiting to greet Santa and I couldn't see her through the throngs of parents snapping photos. So I had no idea she was dealing with the self-inflicted turmoil of waiting to sit on a stranger's lap.

Apparently, she was so nervous she spent the entire 15 minutes in line clawing at her chest, which was all red and scratched by the time her moment arrived. But nothing was going to get between her and those lollipops and toys that were in Santa's basket. So she stuck it out, opted for a side-hug, and even remembered to say "thank you" before dashing off as fast as a reindeer on Christmas Eve.

At the end, they allowed little siblings to say hello to Santa. Now Joci had just woken up from a car nap moments before. She had fallen asleep on the way home from dropping Julia off at preschool and  had stayed that way until it was time to return for pick up. She had a bit of an accident during her nap and wet through her undies and pretty dress (that she had insisted on wearing to be like Julia.) And of course, I didn't know until we were already at the school and she was doing that straddle-legged walk that all parents recognize. I kept hoping no one else would notice she was standing funny. But I knew there was no way I'd get her out of that assembly room without a lollipop of her own. So I let her have her chance to see Santa, ASSUMING my mama's girl/velcro baby would barely endure a side hug like her sister.

I was wrong. So wrong. Girlfriend rushed right up to the bearded fellow, said, "Hi, Santa!" and crawled up onto his knee for a snuggle. I COULD HAVE DIED. I scooted her off his lap as fast as I could and hurried back home to continue our Christmas resting in dry clothes and underwear.

This season may you rest whenever the opportunity arises.

In other news, we bought out last gift today. Well, I ordered our last gift today, from Amazon, while pulling out of parking lot of the store that didn't have what we were looking for. Yup, we actually took all 4 kids out shopping the Saturday before Christmas and NO ONE ended up injured or even crying. But I'm so glad that's behind us. Now, we celebrate. We get all giddy on Christmas parties,  Jon's birthday, drive-thru lights, extra servings of hot chocolate, all the Christmas carols, and frosty mornings (because snow it's just a little far-fetched these days.)

Because if there's one thing I've learned this advent season, it's that "merry" and "rest" can coexist. That real rest doesn't come from habits or traditions, cutting back on my to-do list, or even doing less--although all those things can be helpful during this season of life. But real rest is only found in Him. The greatest gift this season is the Savior the weary world has waited for. And that is something worth celebrating.

Come, thou long expected Jesus,

born to set thy people free;

from our fears and sins release us,

let us find our rest in thee.

Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth thou art;
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart.