Progressive Era

Is it too late for a New Year's post?  Bear with me folks, I'm still crawling out if the hole known as the stomach flu. Since we entered 2014 up to our elbows (literally) in puke, I feel like I still need some closure.

2013, you were good. Hard, but good. There were some major highs this year. Indisputably, July 21 earns "best day ever."  And it just keeps giving and giving.  This girl is such a delight. She truly is our "cheerful increase." I am in total denial that we ever thought our family was complete without her, our "omega baby" as one clever family friend has dubbed her.  She's a daily reminder that sometimes, being wrong can be oh, so right.

Also right up there was our kidless vacation to Florida.  I'm so glad we got that in while we could, even if being away from the Top 3 tugged at my mama-heart.  Of course, I'll never forget the day we found out Fourth Baby was a girl.  I still pinch myself.  Two boys, two girls, it couldn't get any better!  Finally, turning 30 ended up being a blast as well.  Now that I'm seven months in, I can honestly say this decade suits me.  It's a good fit.

But there were lows too. When I think of 2013's rock-bottom, I think of September. Especially the week Jon was out of town for longer than we expected. I've never felt so alone and incapable before. Mothering 4 under 5 was (and continues to be) one of the greatest challenges of my life, but it is getting easier.  Or maybe I'm just growing more numb.  Remember that time 4/5s of us had the flu?  That makes last week's ordeal look like child's play.  I think that's enough reminiscing.

I know I've mentioned it before, but I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. I am all about goal-setting and progress though.  So let's talk about what we're working toward this year.

1.) Getting up before the kids.
Okay, so we look at this every year.  All the time.  I'm perpetually trying to get ahead of my kids.  I was on a roll last week.  Ironically, I woke up at 6:30 and Jack, who we practically have to drag out of bed most days, was up at 6:35.  It doesn't really help much to be ahead by just a few minutes.  The next day was much the same. I got up, and then Joci was up earlier than usual as well.  Then the stomach flu hit and since Joci currently requires an early morning feeding right now, my goal has had a bit of a set-back.  I'll keep working at it.

Heart.Melting.

2.) Cultivating a passion for God.
I know I'm a bit behind the times in this but I just got "Jesus Calling" for Christmas.  I've heard great things about it from other people and am finally joining the movement.  So far, so good!  But more than just doing a daily devotional, I want to get passionate about my relationship with the Savior.  Passions are obvious.  If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know I kinda love babies.  Like really love babies.  And books.  There's this author, Jane Austen ... I kind of have a thing for her too.  And I like baking, and crafting, and pretty much just creating in general.  Those are all things that come out in casual conversation.  They're obvious.  And I want my relationship with God to be the same way.  Not too overbearing, but clearly an ever-present aspect of my life.  And, in turn, I want to study and learn and grow and get to know God on a whole other level.

3.) Having more fun in the kitchen ... but not too much
One of these days, I'm going to do a post about meal planning.  I truly enjoy creating things in my kitchen.  It's not always easy with the kids (er, my BIG HELPERS) around but most of the time we have a lot of fun.  I got some new kitchen gadgets and cookbooks for Christmas that I'm excited to put to good use.  But I need to watch myself.  Sometimes I can spend a little too much time at the counter.  When I find myself breaking down my menu into making ricotta for shells, and yogurt for breakfast cake... perhaps I've gone too far.

A few years ago I read an article where a homeschooling mom of several kids was dying of cancer.  The week before she died, the author asked her if she had any regrets.

She told me she wished she had baked less bread - she said if she had it to do over again she would buy bread and spend more time with her children. She had invested time and energy in pursuing the "path" because she thought it was part of the spiritual ... package.


I was stunned, and not just because I had spent the last few months perfecting my own homemade bread, but because it suddenly made so much sense.  At the end of the day, making my own bread, mastering pasta rolling, or getting my kids to love kale isn't going to make me a good mom.  I like to love on my family through my cooking, but I'm not being loving when I'm ignoring my kids ... or getting frustrated with their efforts. Kitchen time is family time and when it's not working, well, there's always take-out.

Izzy-pirate!

He's about to throw down on Izzy for crashing his photo op.

4.)  Learning how not to be a mom
Okay, I don't mean this literally.  I'll never stop being a mom.  But I need to work on stepping away sometimes.  I mean, we mamas joke about not being able to use the bathroom alone.  I feel things went to a new level last week when I found I couldn't even barf alone.  Wow, my kids must really love me.

Logistically, we need more babysitters, more often.  And more date nights.  I also need to know when to ask my husband to step in so I can sit on the bench.  One day, I just want to go to Starbucks and sit and watch people for no reason at all, than just because, in that moment, I'm not being a mom.

And if I could sit down across from myself, I'd treat me to a caramel macchiato and say, "Girl, it's okay.  It's okay that you're here alone.  It's okay that you're thinking about stopping at the library on the way back ... alone.  It's great that the kids are home with Daddy, probably watching a marathon of football games and eating cereal for lunch.  Oh, and by the way, nobody blames you for using preschool for the childcare aspect rather than the whole "preparing for Kindergarten" deal.  And that thing you did this week where you sent the boys out in the mud so they HAD to get a bath, and then you left them in the tub until their hands got shriveled while you brewed a cup of tea, snuck into the secret chocolate stash, and caught a cooking show on Hulu?  That was awesome.  I'm going to steal that move for myself.  And now I'll leave you alone to enjoy this small space of time before your husband calls asking if you'll be home soon.  Cheers.  Here's hoping that caffeine doesn't keep the baby up."

Hmm, that was good.  I should treat myself to Starbucks more often.

Lia's signature photo face.

Annnnd Jack was here...

5.)  Facing the future
Joci, my omega baby.  It's no secret this has been a huge struggle for me.  I try not to talk/write about it too much because it makes me cry.  See, I'm starting already.  I want to soak up these last few months with a tiny one.  And then I want to pack it all up and push it out the door with dignity.  I need to determine what I'm going to do with all those hours that I'll no longer be spending nursing a baby and how I'm going use that time to benefit my family.

Tongue sticking out, that's her signature look.

I haven't done any typing work for the last two months.  It's been wonderful in most respects.  But I miss working again.  I need to find the right balance between "just enough" and "too much."  For now. And then I want to start looking to what I'm going to do with myself in the future.  I'm 30, have two degrees, and no idea "what I want to be when I grow up."  Being a wife and mother will always be my priority, but I want a little something else in the background.  Maybe that's a PhD, maybe that's  more responsibility at MOPS, or maybe it's spending a few hours a week cuddling babies that are born addicted to drugs (another thing that easily makes me cry).  I'm open to whatever the Lord has for me -- whatever can fill this space in my heart that's been occupied by all things pregnancy and newborns for the last 6 years.

Whew, with that said, I think I'll stop here and go exchange kisses with my nearly 6 month old for a few minutes.  This should be enough for the next 10 years anyway.  I've enjoyed our chat.  See you all in 2024 when I set goals again!

Cleaning out

Well it wasn't our best trip back to Maryland, but we are home and getting settled. The final 20 minutes were a bit tough. Jack had to go to the bathroom and, as an encouragement to hold out just a little longer, Jon started announcing how many minutes until we reached home. But Jack gets minutes and seconds confused, so we started pointing out familiar landmarks - there's the "home store", there's Target, I see Marmie and Poppa's pizza place!

I don't know where Julia thought we were headed all day but the moment she recognized our street Girlfriend was NOT happy. While the rest of us were fist pumping in the driveway, she looked like this. I had to carry her inside and quickly pull out some Christmas presents to distract her.

And that's when the real work started.  Sometimes I feel like the final week of the year is the most stressful.  It's hard enough to come home after nine days away - the unpacking, the resettling, the laundry.  Not to mention a house void of food.  I don't know about you, but the last thing I want to do when I get home from a road trip is head right back out to the grocery store.  But when you add to the mix that it's post-Christmas, and there are gifts that need to find a place to inhabit.  And old items that need cleaned out to make room for the new.  Well, it all just gets a bit overwhelming.

It's always a fun milestone when a baby is big enough for the Johnny Jumper!

Chef Lia, she makes us "soup" every day. (Some great gifts from Marmie and Poppa!)

And it was right in the middle of this whole resettling/creating a mountain of items for the next yard sale thing that another kind of cleaning out began.  The barf.

It started with Jack on New Year's Eve.  He had been complaining about his tummy all day.  And I had been playing it down all day.  And then he threw a fit about dinner.  But that's not unusual.  So I made him eat anyway.  And then a little later, as we're getting ready for bed, he starts walking towards me in his bedroom.  I can see it in his eyes, he's legitimately not feeling well.  And I have just enough time to say "Not on the rug, NOT ON THE RUG!!!" before ... well... all over the rug.
I thought it was just a fluke thing.  Like maybe he really didn't like the Butternut Squash Stuffed Shells (Jon and I thought they were bonkers!).  Because (in typical Jack-style) he appeared to bounce back the next day.  It wasn't until the following day that we discovered more dried vomit in his bed.  Before you think I'm a really bad mom, like really, really bad, just remember he's on the top bunk.  I only go up there when I have to.  So maybe I can be just a little bit of a bad mom?  Gosh, I can't believe I'm starting out 2014 by allowing my child to puke in his bed at night, all alone, and never cleaning it up.  I swear we didn't hear a thing that night! (Then again, there's no longer a monitor in the boys' room thanks to Julia's electrician skills.)

Best snow fall we've had in MD yet! 

Too bad it was over by morning.

But we got a good 20 minutes of playtime!

It was just a few hours after we realized it wasn't a fluke that Julia woke up crying.  I was busy catching up on several weeks worth of ironing (while watching "The Hunger Games").  So Jon went up to check on her... and discovered another mess to be reckoned with.  So he cuddled with her downstairs while I went to work on washing yet another set of sheets.  She starts puking again on Daddy's lap right about the same time I hear Jude winding up in his bed.  And it pretty much went downhill from there.

Jon alternated between Jude and Julia on the couch, emptying basins, going through rolls of paper towels, and switching out blankets and pillows, and I spent the evening doing load after load of laundry.  I went to bed sometime after midnight and Jon volunteered to manage puke patrol.  I found them all sleeping on the couch a little after 3:00am and he finally slipped them back into clean beds made from a mish mash of pillows and blankets from throughout the house.

Recovering.

The following day they were more than exhausted after their ordeal.  Jude just laid around and cried over every little thing.  He can be a bit dramatic under normal circumstances.  But when it was clear he was beyond tired, and he still refused to go to bed, it wasn't surprising to find him like this:

Which looked very much like his baby sister, just a floor above him.  Except she wasn't sick.  Thankfully, she managed to evade "the bug."  But she was suffering some serious neglect.  Good thing those fourth babies are so adaptable.  Hey, if your mom forgets to put you down for a nap, you can just do it yourself.

We thought we were in the clear after that.  We even had Uncle Jared, Aunt Kylee, and Miss Mary over for dinner and football.  After a few rough nights, Jon and I had a hard time staying awake until the end.  Or maybe that's just because we're getting old.  So I was a little surprised when Jon practically jumped out of bed early the next morning.  Should have known it was NOT because he was anxious to make us all breakfast.

Saturday was the day we planned to finally take down all our Christmas decorations.  They were driving me crazy all week and I was more than ready to move on to New Year's decor a.k.a. nothing.  But Jon couldn't get out of bed.  So the kids and I started on the de-decorating ourselves.  And they were surprisingly helpful.  We played a matching game where we'd pull out one of the Hallmark boxes and they'd have to "match" up the picture on the box with an ornament from the tree.  Genius, right?

I just don't understand how this family spreads germs ...

I kept cleaning and waiting for Jon to show up, eventually we got down to just the tree.  And when he still didn't make an appearance I decided to take care of that myself too.  And so, by the time Jon emerged from the bedroom at 2:30, the house was completely void of any signs of Christmas.  Except for that one random ornament that fell under the couch and wasn't found until the last box was put in storage.  Happens every year!!

Jon spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV from his favorite easy chair.  I thought he was just being dramatic like our second son, but by 4:00 I started to realize that I might be finding out soon just exactly how he felt.  I rushed to finish dinner and gets the kids started before collapsing on the couch.  And then the inevitable happened.  Seriously, morning sickness ain't got nothin' on the stomach flu.  This is some serious gut-spilling.  Jon was still in a daze downstairs and the kids needed some management so I crawled back to the table to offer a little "stay in your seats and eat" encouragement.  Actually, I tried to eat dinner myself.  It was dumb, but my biggest concern was trying to nurse a baby while throwing up.  So I figured I needed to keep trying to consume calories and water.  It definitely did not stay down long enough to be beneficial.  And when I say while nursing I mean that quite literally.  Well, I did put the baby down for the actual act, but she was not happy and wanted to resume eating immediately afterwards.

How about parenting while barfing?  I'm literally on my knees at the toilet, hacking out my everything I have in me, and the kids are right there with me, checking out what's going on.  Jude was telling on Jack, Jack was asking me for a snack, and Julia was dancing around the toilet saying "Barf! Barf!" and making gagging sounds.  Thankfully, this was right about the time Jon started to feel better.

No such thing as alone time.  Trying to relax in the tub while Joci plays by a cruddy toilet and Lia "reads" me "My World" for the gazillionth time.

Because that's how the rest of the evening went.  Looking back, there's a lot to be thankful for.  My kids went to bed at 6:30 that night!  Joci never goes to bed that early.  And she slept all the way through until 4:00am.  Which was the worst of it for me, and despite not even being able to keep water down, she was still able to eat that morning.  That next day was a little bit tougher though.  I mean, I had nothing in my system.  I had to somehow bring myself back to life as well as nurture a 5 month old, and all without much of an appetite.  She was a very frustrated baby on Sunday and literally wanted to nurse all day.  And then she'd get mad when there wasn't any milk.  At one point I started to cry.  And then forced myself to stop because I didn't want to dehydrate myself anymore.

Please disregard that disastrous laundry room.  And the extension cord at my daughter's feet...

...it was for this project.

I spent the rest of the day napping with the baby or laying on the couch.  And I spent the evening watching cooking shows (not the best idea after a stomach flu) and watching my husband refinish the bookshelf.  And now we're back to normal (unfortunately, I cannot say the same for Uncle Jared, who was in the midst of our germs last week).  Sharing is caring ... or not.

My little fashionistas in outfits from Nonnie and Poppie!

We even made it out of the house on Monday.  A trip to Target for Mother's Milk Tea (and to have someone ask me if I ran a home daycare).  And then some time at the Chick-Fil-A playplace to burn some energy before the great freeze-in (and to have someone say that Julia was "lucky" to have three brothers -- they were dressed alike for heaven's sakes!!!).  It was certainly not the way I anticipated  ringing in the new year.  I mean, I haven't even had a chance to think about what I want to accomplish in 2014.  But it certainly helped with the whole cleaning out thing.  And after the events of this past week, I may be one of the few out there that are actually hoping to gain some weight this year!

Making Merry

Homeward bound.  After 9 days in Pennsylvania with the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, we are headed back to our nest.  I love PA, and Christmas, and being with family.  But I miss my pillow and my favorite water filter.  I just miss home.

Early Christmas gift from Daddy -- a bulletin board and chalkboard wall.

We’re on the least favorite part of the trip.  This long stretch of highway made of cement, which creates an annoying background noise when driving over 60 mph.  There’s a river on one side, and the other side of the road is dotted with Amish homesteads and “adult outlets.”  I can’t stand it.  And since we’ve driven this road many, many times I’m more than happy to direct my attention to the computer screen.  Away from the dead brown landscape, away from my 2 year old soprano singing an unrecognizable song in my left ear, away from the two boys who have each other in head locks on the back seat, and away from the baby who I’m quite hopeful is going to use the entire trip to catch up on lost sleep from this week.  Let’s get caught up on Christmas.

Another early gift, because the kids were driving both Jon and I crazy the other day and we just needed something to keep them occupied!

 The festivities began with the boys' preschool program.  They’ve been practicing for weeks.  I was slightly disappointed that Jack wasn’t as voluminous as his first year of preschool, and that Jude didn’t quite perform the same way he did in our living room, but overall it was a fabulous event.  Anything that involves Sunday best and slicked back hair (compliments of Daddy) is sure to be special.

We did our own family Christmas that afternoon.  Actually, Jon and I went ahead and opened up our gifts to each other the night before.  Because (as you may have noticed from previous years), my husband isn’t known for his patience.  Plus we just wanted to enjoy a peaceful evening where we could focus on each other without having to compete with four little ones.  And of course, there’s always those one or two random gifts that you really shouldn’t open in front of the children … I digress.

Forget presents, this girl just wanted a nap!

Our kids are not quite old enough to grasp the excitement of Christmas (they actually all slept in on the real Christmas morning), but the giddiness is certainly mounting.  I tried to take more videos this year, especially after watching (and laughing) over some of my family’s old Christmas home videos.  I wanted to capture Lia’s smile in action, the way Jude couldn’t stop kicking his feet the whole time, and Jack’s incredibly high-pitched voice overflowing with gratitude for the “best Christmas ever!”  Our little home was just bursting with happiness that day.

We drove north the next morning, watching the amount of snow alongside the road increase the “closer we got to the North Pole.”  Nonnie and Poppie had several inches waiting for our boys and their sleds, but unfortunately it started to rain when we were about 20 minutes away.  And it didn’t stop the rest of the day.  It didn’t dampen the adults' spirits though, because that night was a kid-less celebration of Jon’s birthday at one of our favorite Japanese restaurants!  Jon hates being sung to at restaurants but the night was redeemed by his enjoying copious amounts of sushi.

Christmas Sunday was extra-special because our little sweetheart got dedicated.  We’re just so grateful that God blessed us with this beautiful soul.  It’s been five months of pure bliss and I know God has a mighty plan for her life over the next five decades. 

Sunday evening was Uncle Micah’s annual Gingerbread House Competition.  We came with guns a’blazin’.  Okay, not really.  We had our idea months ago, fully intending to have it all planned and practiced ahead of time, but December always gets away from us.  That certainly doesn’t take away from the fun though.  And we got to live our dream of owning a sailboat dubbed with the family nickname, even for just a little while. 

Competition was fierce this year.  And keep in mind these are all made out of graham crackers, and started and finished in a mere two hours time.

"Reeses" football stadium.

A cell phone bomb.

3rd Place - Snowman Vacation Resort 

1st Place - A German Cathedral

A farm.

2nd Place - Charm City (Baltimore) Row House

Monday night was bowling.  I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m a horrible bowler.  I have strengths in other areas.  Good thing we played two games, because I was just starting to get the hang of the whole “knock down the pins thing” by the second round.  This was Jack and Jude’s first time bowling.  I think it would have been just as much fun if all we did was watch them.  I mean, I never saw a ball roll so slowly, or stop rolling, and start coming back down the lane, until I watched Jude bowl.  He had no idea what was going on so it didn’t make any difference in his merry meter.

 

Jack enjoying his Daddy's favorite childhood book.

We celebrate with Jon’s family on Christmas Eve.  We do it right – with a big dinner that always includes shrimp cocktail, plum ketchup, and crème de menthe parfaits.  There’s also a scripture reading, hymn singing, and candle lighting ceremony at night (in which I spend more time holding/shushing/swaying my littles than actually participating). This year Nonnie upped the ante with coordinated pajamas for her and the grandgirls.  And then there’s the exchanging and opening of gifts.  Which, with 10 grandchildren, is as chaotic as Christmas gets. 

This girl.  And her runny nose, chapped cheeks, chocolate lips, and many accessories.

It’s to be expected that our kids konk out on the drive to Marmie and Poppa’s that night, and have to be carried to bed from the car – Batman jammies and all.  And also no surprise that they have a hard time waking up on Christmas morning.  This is also about the time where the annual “Christmas cold” starts to set in.  Noses running, throats burning, heads aching – it doesn’t matter how much Vitamin C and Echinacea we stock up on ahead of time, it’s no match for those holiday-induced, out-of-state germs.  Surprisingly, Jude, the child that always gets sick first, is the healthy one, despite sharing a bed and drinks with his brother.  Joci also weathered it like a champ.  I, on the other hand, spent most of Christmas day with a hot beverage in my hand.  And sending loving glances at my baby girl who let me go to bed at 8:45 and sleep straight through until 7:15.  See?  Absolute doll.

We did not toast to an expanding family this Christmas Eve.  It wasn’t necessary. Of course, there’s Joci now.  And Aunt Kylee is officially part of the family.  And this year Miss Carrie joined in the festivities.  Christmas at my parents house has grown so much we may need to start spreading it across two days.  My great aunt Jane still manages to knit a stocking to add to the mantle for each new member. 

Jon had to work after Christmas so he loaded up our “sleigh” that night and headed back to Maryland – along with all our gifts and the kids’ snow gear.  Naturally, we had a surprise snow that evening.  We woke up the next day to a beautiful world of white.  So we improvised, yet again, with extra layers of pants, plastic bags and duct tape, and a few pair of too-big gloves.  A lot of the snow had melted by the time they made it outside but they thoroughly enjoyed a few runs down the hill in the backyard.  And Jude finally got to build the snowman he’s been talking about since before Thanksgiving.

We spent the rest of the week relaxing, nursing colds, and catching up with old friends.  Jon returned Friday night and we were able to spend Saturday with his grandparents who drove down from New York.  This was the first time we’d seen them since last Christmas, and the first time they’d met baby Jocelyn.  She settled right down with Grammie and, in her usual style, made eyes and smiles at Grandpa like she’d known him all her life.

The whole family!

That fairly sums up Christmas vacation.  We’ll leave out the parts about what got broken at the grandparents’ houses, or the sleep-deprived meltdowns, the night that I spent with Joci, while Poppa took care of Julia, and Marmie handled Jude, and Jack slept through it all.  That’s not important.  What’s important is that we made merry memories.  We were happy when we arrived and we’re still smiling as we snake our way south.  Christmas delivered.  Now we can go ahead and sleep through the new year.