Friday, November 13, 2009

So in love

I am so in love with my little Jack Lawrence, I don't know how else to say it! The funny thing is, I can't even remember when or how it happened. Was it the first time I saw his heartbeat on the ultrasound screen? Or the first time I felt him kick? Was it when he spent his first few moments in this world in my arms? Or the first time I saw him smile? The first time he gave me kisses? Or the first time he reached for me? Whenever and however it was, it just crept up on me, caught me completely unaware, and has me totally enraptured with this adorable, little boy.

I saw a message on BabyCenter from a new mom, relaying the news of her baby's arrival. She ended her story with "now I know what perfect love is." I can't believe I never thought of it before. Yes, I love my husband. He still makes me giddy. My heart still skips a beat when I see him in uniform. I still melt when I hear his voice on the phone. But its not the same. I love Jon, but it's a love we work at daily. Then there is Jack.

Some days, he is the most perfect, sweetest kid. Other days (particularly the other week) he drives me crazy! There are so many days when, as a mom, you feel like you just give, give, give and get nothing in return but poopy diapers and snotty noses. But he's still so easy to love. In fact, if I think about it too hard, I start to get tears in my eyes. Which, I believe, is just another sign of how much motherhood has changed me.

But do you know when I get completely enamoured? When my heart just melts with love? When I think, "I can't believe he's ours, how are we so blessed?" ...When I catch a glimpse of him sleeping.
*sigh* There's just something about a sleeping baby that puts my heart at ease. Perhaps there would be less hate in this world if we just had more sleeping babies to love.

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