Subtitled: And God Laughed
Sub-subtitled: Looks like we're not getting a dog anytime soon
So exactly one week after writing this lovely little post about being content with our two boys for now and taking a baby-break and enjoying a long summer of having my body all to myself ... I took a pregnancy test.
See Jon had mentioned something the night before about "what if" and we both agreed it was simply not possible. That there was just no way. And that was that. But I couldn't get it off my mind. All the next morning I just kept thinking and thinking, comparing this month to previous months, looking at the calendar, counting days, doing math. I still didn't think it was possible but by lunchtime I could hardly think of anything else. So I told myself that since I had 3 pregnancy tests upstairs that I'd stocked up on a long time ago during a sale, I could just take one to ease my mind after the boys went down for a nap. I figured it was worth it alone to be able to concentrate on all the phone calls I had to make that afternoon.
This test wasn't my usual one. Well, by usual I mean the brand I used with my other two babies - the one line or two lines. This was the "plus" or "minus" sign brand (hey it was on sale!). So I took the test, immediately saw a "minus" sign and breathed a huge sigh of relief! I walked back into the bedroom to put away some clothes and wait out the 2 minutes the back of the box suggested, just to confirm my doubts.
Two minutes later that "minus" had changed into a "plus." Two minutes later I sat on the floor and bawled my eyes out.
It's amazing the number of things that can flash through your mind in an instant. No more solo-summer. No more fall trip to the Cayman's. No more only-one-kid-in-diapers. THREE UNDER THREE! No wonder Jude has been annoyed while nursing. How are we gonna put three kids in college at the same time?! I'm gonna be huge at the beach! THREE UNDER THREE!! What about the wedding the boys are supposed to be in? We don't even know where we'll be living in 4 months. What are people gonna say? It still can't be true. Won't know for sure until the doctor confirms. THREE UNDER THREE!! I'll never be able to leave the house! How will we ever survive next winter?! What about all those cute clothes I just bought? THREE UNDER THREE!! How did this happen? How am I going to tell Jon!?!?
I decided the best way to start would be by putting on same make-up. I'm sure the last thing he needed to see coming in the door from work was his messy-haired wife, in sweatpants, with a tear-stained face, waving a pee-stick in his face saying "YOU DID THIS TO ME!!"
On the other hand, I love being creative. I mean, I'm quite proud of those "Dad" pancakes I made nearly 3 years ago this month. And the "bun in the oven" scheme was pretty cute too. But this time. Well I had nothing. And I wasn't quite sure how he'd take the news anyway.
Jon always calls me when he's on his way home. It gives him something to do during his long commute, it gives me an idea of when to expect him home, and if I'm smart it gives me about 30 minutes to clean up the house quick! I was on the phone with a student when he called this day though, and he was on the phone with someone else when I called him back. Phew, potential cover-blow averted.
So I was sitting at my computer when he came in the door, pretending to work on emails but really checking out due date calculators. He was still on the phone, then he was in the office, then he came into the kitchen to raid the refrigerator. He started talking about his day and I couldn't take. I pulled the pregnancy test out from under a sheet of paper, "Soooo ... we're pregnant."
"No way... How can that be? ... Are you serious?" And then he laughed. My always the realist, never miss a moment to plan, "hey check out this 10 page spreadsheet I just made to keep track of our DVDs", color-code his calendar, cross the dates off with a straight-edge, husband laughed, and said, "Well I guess God wanted us to have another baby. I mean, we always knew we wanted another one."
But in October? Jack might not even be 3 yet!
"That's perfect. I'll be done with school and we'll be all moved in to our new house."
"We're going to have 3 kids under the age of 3."
"Do you realize we could possibly watch 3 of our sons play football for the Coast Guard Academy at the same time!"
"I guess we won't be going to the Cayman's anymore."
"We'll get our baby years out of the way and do fun things when the kids are grown up."
"Who wants to wear a cute swimsuit when they're 50? I want to wear one now! I'm gonna be a whale at the beach."
"Just think, we'll be young grandparents!"
"But I'm going to feel very old by the time I'm 30."
"You're being really selfish right now."
Oh I love my husband. I love how he sets me right. I love how he tells me he loves me even when I'm not so sure I love myself. I love how he takes our shattered plans and uses them to build even better dreams. I love that the day we found out he was already picking out baby names and scheming ways to tell everyone. I love that he rubbed my belly, the belly that I've been thoroughly enjoying all winter and that's already starting to make room for the new one, and said hi to the baby - our little 3 week old, the size of a sesame seed. And I love that he laughed. Really, at this point, what else can ya do?