My poor husband. This past weekend I had what has probably been my first emotional breakdown. Personally, I think that’s pretty good. Here’s what my trusted resource, Baby Center, has to say: “It's common to have mood swings during pregnancy, because of hormonal changes that affect your levels of neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) and the broad range of feelings you may have about becoming a parent. Everyone responds differently to these changes. Some moms-to-be experience heightened emotions, both good and bad; others feel more depressed or anxious. Most find that moodiness flares up at around 6 to 10 weeks, eases up in the second trimester, and then reappears as their pregnancy winds to a close.”
Considering all the hormonal activity that goes on among the other ladies just in my 2 hour, once a week childbirth class, making it to 31 weeks with only one incident deserves some sort of recognition. My husband remains unconvinced. In my defense, it was a tough weekend. And after one stern reproof from hubby and a few days of self-reflection I believe I can now address the situation with all the objectivity necessary for an online blog.
My family had just left (I hate those first few hours after company leaves and the house seems sooo quiet) and I realized the next time I’ll see them is after Lil’ J’s arrival, Handsome Coastie was about to start another 12 hour night shift, 3 day weekend (I HATE these, especially since I always end up watching Law and Order by myself on Sunday night and then can’t fall asleep!!), my job had just thrown me a few loops that I wasn’t expecting, I was suffering major episodes of pregnancy brain and forgetting IMPORTANT things, and I had a growing to-do list rolling around in my head that I had neglected to translate onto paper (finish writing Thank-Yous, sew curtains, submit final project, pay college bill, mail off half.com orders, have baby in 9 weeks, etc, etc). To top it all off I had forgotten my sunglasses. Any woman knows that if you’re going to end up fighting back tears in the middle of Wal-Mart, the first thing to reach for is your sunglasses. I was stranded.
Thankfully, we had just finished watching “Batman Begins” and I still had Bruce Wayne’s father’s wisdom in my head, “And why do we fall Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” Haha, I jest. Actually, even better than Thomas Wayne, was our pastor’s sermon on Sunday about slowing down and taking time to pray. He opened with Isaiah 30:15, “This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust (or confidence) is your strength.’” I know that for me personally, having an “emotional episode” or “hormonal attack” is really just a code orange, an outward indication that I need to slow down and find a quiet place to rest in God’s presence. And so I have one more thing to add to the to-do list, at the very top, and that is to simply be quiet and wait on the Lord.