The other day Jack had some leftover peaches stuck to his cheek. I licked my finger and wiped it off. Mid-process it suddenly dawned on me - what am I doing?? A few days later I heard the familiar gurgly-burping noise that always precedes a spit-up. Rather than deal with the mess, I cupped my hand and shoved it under his chin just in time. I sat there, a pile of warm, old milk puddling in my palm, wondering "What have I become?" A mother. I am officially a mother. Having a baby is awesome, holding him for the first time took my breath away. And bringing him home from the hospital brought on this incredible sense of responsibility. But I didn't feel like a mom. Those feelings came later. The times when I'm trying to maintain a professional phone conversation with barf running down my shirt, the times when I realize that warm spot on my leg is actually baby poop leaking out of Jack's diaper, the times when I get sneezed on right in the face, or the times when Jack grabs my ears to pull me in for a big, wet, sloppy kiss. Those are the times when it strikes me - I'm totally a mom! And I have to admit, I LOVE IT!!
Jack gave me some roses for Mother's Day. Isn't he the sweetest!? ;) Seems like he's setting a high standard for years to come ...
We just finished a short sunset walk on the beach together. With Jack on my back pulling on my hair I had chance to think back over the past year and what it's been like being a mother. Crazy, that's what! But other than the crash course on childcare that I've had over the past 7 months three things that Jack has me working on are loving unconditionally, serving selflessly, and finding pure joy in the simplest things life has to offer. Some days are harder than others, but overall life as a mom just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter.
Thankfully I'm not alone, and I have a great example to follow: my own mom. She's my biggest fan and a huge support. I wish we didn't live so far apart and that our mother-daughter moments ocurred more often, but it just makes me more grateful for those days when they do happen.
Mom, I love you, thanks for helping me become the mommy I've always wanted to be!