Saturday, June 20, 2009

Another Year Older

I don't feel like I'm getting older. Sometimes it feels like time stopped somewhere during my freshman/sophomore year of college. And my little brother would probably tell you my sense of fashion did too. But I'm on the downward slope to 30 and I've been dragging my heels along the way. Not that getting older is a bad thing. I love how my life has progressed over the past 26 years. I love that I'm married to that same boy I used to sit two rows behind in church, I love that we're building our little love nest out of sweet memories and discounted furniture, I love that the sound of boyish laughter and baby toys now fills our home, and I love that we can't help but look forward to the future and getting old together because we know it's going to be that good! But there are still some days where I'm left wondering, "When did all this happen?" Last night I was driving home on this one stretch of road that, despite being in the middle of this urban beach community, reminds both Jon and I of home. It's a narrow, windy road lined with leafy green trees on either side. We detour along this route all the time just because it "feels like home." It was just me on this beautiful summer evening, a storm approaching in the distance. Without a carseat in the back, I had the windows all down and the music turned up. For a moment I felt like I was in high school again, driving home from work. Unwinding after a long day checking-in campers and dipping ice cream. Enjoying the summer air, putting off homework for just a car ride longer. It was just one of those moments where, on the spiral of life, your today just happens to take a turn by your yesterday. Just one of those moments that makes me grateful that I have sweet memories to look back on, to pull out and enjoy every once in a while, whether they are as simple as driving home from my $7/hour job, as somber as the 7 gun salute at my Pappy's funeral, as silly as playing dress-up with my best childhood friends, and as special having the nurse pin on my "I'm a big sister" button when I saw my little brother for the first time.
So while getting older isn't my favorite thing to do, making memories certainly is. And I've come to realize you can't have one without the other.
This year I get to celebrate my birthday on Father's Day. So thank you Dad for allowing my imagination to run wild in the backyard, for never letting me fall during all our gymnastics routines, for forcing me to go to field hockey practice when I was sure I wanted to quit, for buying a new lawnmower just for me to use, and for walking me down the aisle when I'm sure you would have been happy to let me stay in my sunny, little bedroom at the end of the hall.

I love you Daddy!

1 comment:

Lizzy said...

oh my! Janine, I'm crying! that was such a poignant, beautiful post/tribute! you are a very gifted writer.

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