let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
cause we'll know just what they're thinking
-Relient K, "Mood Rings"
Love the teenage punk band reference?
After three pregnancies, you start to catch on to things. You no longer worry about that weird jabbing feeling in your uterus that makes you gasp when you stand up, because you know it's totally normal. And you rarely mention the leg cramps, heartburn, back pain, difficulty breathing, etc. because you've been expecting it. And the 30-something week emotional breakdown? Well it wouldn't be a Janine-pregnancy without it. As proven by my dutiful blogging these past 3 years (here and here) I'm prone to hormonal surges right around this time of pregnancy.
|He likes to point out the acorns ... all 5,000,000 of them.|
And so this week, while I was sitting on the toilet seat in our bathroom (the farthest, quietest corner of the house at the time) crying my eyes out. It suddenly dawned on me - I'm 32 weeks, this is totally, completely, part of the process. It's not me, it's the hormones.
And the hormones aren't helped much by current circumstances. Jon's back to work now. And he really likes his job. So much so that he tends to spend 12 hour days there. We also have a contractor (who Jack has affectionately dubbed "the man") working on the guest room that likes to show up at 7am sharp. Which means my day starts with the rising of the sun, and I'm flying solo until Jon walks in the door during dinnertime. And that sounds so quaint - dinnertime. What it really means is I'm up to my elbows in dishes. Jude, who finished all three helpings of his dinner within 10 minutes, is emptying out the drawers, shoving things in the broiler, or crawling in the dishwasher. And Jack, who has been sitting at the table for about an hour now, has still only taken 3 bites, yet managed to go "pee pee" on the potty twice in 10 minutes, is being told to "sit in his seat" for about the 50th time that meal. Ah sweet family mealtime.
|Jack keeps a close eye on "the man" and gives us the play by play on all the "the man's" doings.|
The good thing about being on my own all day is that we have a good routine. This mama runs a tight ship. The boys are up at 7. Lunch is at 11. Both are taking a nap by 12:30. Jude's down for the night promptly at 7. Jack's picking out his 3 books and changing into his jammies by 7:15. And Mama is about to crash by 7:30. I mean, raising two toddlers is exhausting. They just don't stop. Unless they're taking a nap. But those are the only hours I have to cook, clean, and oh yeah, do my other job. Sooo, in case you haven't noticed yet, the energetic phase of pregnancy has officially passed. I concede, I am tired.
|My two little loves.|
But it's not just the "can't deal with it and crying on the toilet" moments. I'm all over the spectrum here. My sentimental sensors are on high-alert. And when it comes to my kids I'm hearing, seeing, feeling more deeply than ever. Like when I'm sitting in the middle of church, listening to the pastor preach about shipwrecks, and all I can think about is how much I stinkin' love my little family. Or I'm listening to Jack begging "Jude-buddy" to come play with him and realizing how grateful I am for my two boys, the little buddies and those rare moments when they get along. Or when it's time for Jude to go to bed, he's practically jumping out of my arms while reaching for his crib and I'm just not ready to put him down yet because I want one last snuggle before the day comes to a close. Or that sparkle in Jack's eye, the smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth when he gives me that look, the one that says, "Man, I have a cool mom." Nevermind that he'd never think to say it. I know what he's thinking. And even the Little Miss, when she does her happy dance after I've laid down for the night and she knows she has my full attention. The way she kicks and rolls and grooves. She's won my heart completely.
|When he smiles, the birds burst into song... okay not really, but it seems like it.|
Yes, there have been some bitter moments this week. But it's not been without it's savory bits either. And in these final weeks of pregnancy I'd so much rather dwell on those... at least until things start to really get crazy.
|Always looking for a new vantage point.|
We have a promising weekend on the books, and a "lighter load" for me over this next week. Which means, also judging from previous pregnancies, full-on nesting mode is right around the corner! Woo hoo! Nesting is ten times better than sobbing in bathrooms! Happy Friday!