Locked and Loaded

I am ready. 

Long time blog readers may be shocked at that statement.  I'm the girl who never feels ready to have a baby.  I'm the preggo who always hopes to "go late."  I'm the sentimental mama who wants just one more day to savor that "baby in my belly" feeling.

But this time is different.  I am ready.

38 weeks

Don't get me wrong, I'm still crazy nervous about bringing a newborn into this circus of a house.  And if I knew I wasn't due for a month or two I'd be happy to keep right on going this way.  But I'm not.  Baby could freely, healthily come tonight ... or 4 weeks from now.  And knowing that is making me edgy.  And not knowing how things are going to go with three small children is making me edgy too.  And so to get past all this edginess I say we just do it!  Let's have this kid.

And then my husband attempts the "so this is our last one, right?" conversation and suddenly I just want to be pregnant forever.  I'm full-term for the third time in three years.  I'm emotional and anxious and uncomfortable.  And my mind is so pre-occupied with baby and birth and all the logistics that go along with that.  Let's not have this discussion right now.

According to the midwife this morning baby is "locked and loaded."  Head down ... down ... down.  She's not going anywhere but out.  Which means we're well on our way to full-blown labor.  Which doesn't really mean anything because babies can hang out like that for hours ... or weeks. 

And even though I've been steadily gaining one pound a week for months now, today I was only measuring 35 weeks.  Once the baby really drops though those measurements start to become inaccurate.  In other words, we won't be getting much bigger around here.

I've certainly done my part in the "growth" area.

And so I feel like I've maxed this pregnancy out, we've run our course Baby Girl.  We've done all there is to do.  If you want to hang out in there a little longer and get chunky that's okay.  But I'd love to have a September baby, just to mix things up a bit.  And just in case you do decide to come sooner rather than later, Mama's got our bag all packed.  But let's keep this just between us.  Because I have a feeling if you asked your Daddy when would be a convenient time, well we just might never get an answer.